[Luminous]

Planning for staying on plan

Note: skip right to 4 and 5 for the meat of the post. 1-3 are me yammering.

I've lost a little weight three times in my life. Each time was 20 pounds. Once by accident, twice on purpose. I don't know why I stopped or why I gained it back and more. I'm having a ball this time, and the 20 pound mark will arrive sooner or later—yikes! This thread's purpose is twofold: to discover why I stopped losing weight and why I gained it back; and how to apply this knowledge to staying on plan this time.

And hey, post your own stories/ideas!

1: The Accidental Loser
The accidental weight loss was when I studied abroad in college. We weren't fed very much, I was on the tightest budget you can imagine—if I recall correctly, I had about 20-25 dollars a week—and walked a minimum of an hour and a half every day what with going to classes and such. Went from 195-ish to 175-ish. I was very pleased with myself and felt very good in my body. Funny side note: it was at this size that was the only time some guy ever snidely said, "Why don't you lose some weight." Since I felt pretty hot, I just laughed at him. Also he was kind of insane, like truly becoming mentally unstable.

Where was I? Oh, so anyway I did recognize that the conditions under which I lost the weight were pretty different from my normal lifestyle, but I did work on maintaining it. I was still pretty active what with walking everywhere, and I remember choosing broccoli and stuff for evening snacks rather than unhealthy things. I kept it off for quite a while. I didn't work on losing more because I had NO idea how to go about it. If you lost it by walking several hours a day and not eating much, how are you going to improve upon that?

2: Weight Watchers
Oh, the WW ladies were sweet. They thought I was the bomb because I rode my bike to the meetings. The WW leader constantly stated that "nothing tastes as good as being thin feels." The plan seemed sensible and frankly, it was here that I first truly learned how many of this and that we should have per day. The 3+ vegetables, 2+ fruit, protein, etc. This was in the days before "points" which frankly I think is a MORE complicated way of simple calorie counting. I think what we did was we had goals, e.g. the 3+ vegetables per day, and had limits on oils and sweets and the like. I still have my WW kitchen scale and use it often.

I don't remember what I weighed then at all! I think I began in the 220s and ended in the 200s. I really liked the plan because I felt it emphasized getting healthy foods. I honestly don't remember why I stopped going. I probably told myself, "I know the plan now; I can follow it myself without spending $$ every week." As with the accidental loss, there wasn't a precipitating event I can think of, just a gradual straying from plan and gradual regaining.

3: Ediets
Ediets, how I loved thee. This was the first time a plan seemed more "tailored" for me. I was completely vegetarian at that time, and the Ediets plan alotted me more calories than WW had, around 1600-1700 I think, and had lots of options for recipes etc. I think I went from 240s to 220s with them. I wanted to get involved in the forum community, but I just couldn't get past all the people with terrible stories about how their husbands constantly put them down or how they were just so depressed and hating themselves. Honestly, I'm not *that* mean a person, but it was a little overwhelming reading all that sadness. Again, I think I got to the point where I was very comfortable with the plan, made sure I had printouts of dozens of meals and menus, and let my subscription lapse.

Huh. I thought exploring this was going to bring up melancholy episodes or job changes or something as reasons for going off-plan. But now I'm kind of sensing these things:

4: Observed reasons for going off-plan

Overconfidence.
- "I can do it all by myself! I don't need anyone!"
Loss of focus.
- "I've already lost 20 pounds. I can indulge for a day here and there."
Inattention.
- "I feel bored. If I eat that will occupy me in some way."
Lack of preparation.
- "I'm hungry and the fridge is empty!"
Tired of cooking.
- "I don't have time for this!"
Sense of entitlement/tantrum/anger.
- "Other people don't measure and cook and make sure they get this and that! Why should I have to? It's not fair!"
See no evil.
- There is no voice here. This is the state of utterly and completely ignoring my fitness and my eating. Mindless. This is the scariest state, really. It's insidious. I feel like I'm going to fail already because the "see no evil" attitude creeps on sooooo slowly...even if I make plans for how to deal that, how can I know they'll work?

5: Here's the meat. Handling number 4.
So yeah, I figure if I plan for those states of mind, perhaps I'll be ready to deal with them when they begin to happen in oh, TEN MORE POUNDS. GAH!

So, being anal, we're going to try to head them off at the pass:
- Be accountable to sis. Have her ask you if you've done your Fitday. On that note, keep doing Fitday even if you think you have every calorie and nutrient information of every food under the sun memorized.
- Knowing I can eat a cookie and it fits in my day is worrisome. As yourself this: Is this an appropriate time for something like this? Are you bored, upset, happy, anxious? Be aware. This applies to loss of focus and inattention.
- Keep things in the freezer that are hassle-free. Veggie burgers. Begin freezing things like you did with the ziti. Remember you always have pasta and sauce in the cupboard! Remember it's not the end of the world. You can get more supplies tomorrow. Just chill for tonight. It'll be all right. This applies to both lack of preparation and tired of cooking.

And I have no idea how to deal with sense of entitlement or see no evil just yet.

[rockinrobin]

You sound like you got it all worked out. I find for me having a well stocked fridge and pantry is absolutely ESSENTIAL. And I've started something new, before every off-plan bite I ask myself "Is it worth it"? Is it worth it to eat the cookie, the extra 60 calorie pudding, even the extra fruit, the whatever it is. Do I really want this? Do I really need this? Can I do without it? And it helps me tremendously. It makes me slow down and to make better choices. And to learn to do without. And find other things to fix my boredom. And sometimes I decide, yeah it is worth it. But that's okay too. It's progress for me. And it's waaaay better then what I used to do.

As far as the sense of entitlement - How about you're entitled to a better, more active, more healthy life. Because you are entitled to those things. You DESERVE those things. You deserve to have the best life that you can. You deserve to be the best YOU that you can be.

For the evil part, you don't have to fail. This is absolutely a DOABLE thing. Just look around here at 3FC. There are so many people that HAVE DONE IT. You are no different then them. If they can do it, you can do it. You have the power to make this happen. It's all up to you. Just how badly do you want it? How badly do you want to live a happy, normal life? How badly do you want your body to stop aching? How badly do you want to stop worrying about increased health risks? How badly do you want to shop in regular sized stores? And so on and so on and so on.............Remember you don't have to be obese. YOU DON"T HAVE TO.

Please realize those last things were written just as much for me as for you. I didn't mean to sound so harsh, I just care about you and want you to lose the weight. I know that sounds silly, having never met you. But we have so much in common - I just want the same things for you as I do for myself. Please don't hate me. Oh and yes good luck!!! You (we) can do this, you (we) really can.

[LookingForHope16]

You are so far ahead of me!!! I know that for me it always works for me to have a plan!!

I hope that you have success!!

[Ayanna]

Luminous,

I really relate to your post. I am trying to find ways to fight the tediousness of the life long battle with wieght. I find that I need variety, in food, activity and rewards. Some times I focus on the scale other times I celebrate the change in the fit of clothing (or I am saddended by the tightness of my jeans). I cook but I also have started to explore healthy options for when i do not feel like cooking or I just want to go out. I go to the gym and walk but some times I know i can not get there or I get bored with it so I am looking for classes to mix it up and I am doing small things that can get exersize in my life all the time like taking the stairs at work or parking farther away. I like to focus on eating healthy and being stronger or active. I try to get the five fruits in vegtable in a day and this helps me be more mindful of my eating. I am trying to replace unhealthy habits with mindful healthy actions.

I do not know if any of this makes sense or is helpful. But I just wanted to thank you for posting your thoughts and encourage you to walk the thin line between confidence in your ability to loose and cockiness (sorry about my spelling) about your need for planning, support and life long vigulance. You might try journaling your NSV (None Scale Victories).

keep working on it and reflecting you will be fine.

[Vortex_VVV]

Luminous,

Good for you for thinking so consciously about your past experiences. I need to do the same. For me, "See no evil" is probably the biggest obstacle.

I've found that commiting to posting here *even when I'm off plan* has been useful. I haven't been losing a lot, but I've been increasingly conscious of everything I'm doing, and over this holiday I've found myself saying no to offers of sweets, even though I'm not actually following an eating plan. I honestly think posting is a great way to have some accountability and to keep everything CONSCIOUS.

Reflecting on my own experience, I'd say habit has been the only common ingredient in my various successful weight loss attempts (well, moderately successful, since in no case have I been able to keep weight off more than a year). But when I developed habits, particularly regarding exercise, that seems to have been the only time I've been able to make substantial losses.

[Lilion]

Luminous - I did much the same thing as you have done here when I started out. I sat down and wrote out "my story". How I had lost over the years (40 lbs three times) only to gain it, plus a WHOLE lot more, back. How I'd managed to crawl up the scale to 328 lbs. What was different this time and how I'd get it off. I think this type of introspection is not only healthy, it's manditory if you are going to lose weight and keep it off for good!

Your list of reasons for going off plan are pretty much identical to mine, except overconfidence...frankly, I never gave that much thought to weight loss. When I quit a program I just QUIT. I did once keep off a 40+ lb loss for over a year, but then I started ignoring it again and that started my last gain...a slow, steady gain of over 100 lbs. See No Evil was always my biggie! I gained about 15 lbs a year. What's 15 lbs? Nothing to worry about, right? Until, of course, you do it seven years in a row. I gained simply thru inattention and apathy. I knew I was fat and getting fatter and I didn't particularly care as I was otherwise happy with my life.

I can't say I am as prepared as you to combat the "reasons", at least not to the point of writing them down. My one strategy is to simply remind myself day after day that I am not on a diet. To me, diet is a noun, not a verb. It's literally the food I eat, not what I do. I remind myself constantly that this is a new way of looking at food, exercise and health and it is FOREVER. While I've been stalled on the loss for some time now, I haven't gained back and I attribute that entirely to thinking about food and exercise every single day. Even eating candy over Christmas, I put it in my mouth knowing that I'd have to make up for it later, either by relosing the weight I was going to put on over the holiday or by working out harder to prevent the gain. It was a conscious choice. And, I did gain. Now I have to get back on track, as I'll have to do for the rest of my life.

Didn't mean to get preachy. Just really wanted to compliment you on your work in recogizing your past problems and developing stragegies for dealing with them. You are on your way!

[Luminous]

Zomg, so not preachy! It's incredibly motivating to see so many of you identifying with these similar reasons for going back to old habits. I'm beginning to sense that for me, committing to taking care of myself, and not falling into unawareness, are the most important features to cultivate.

Basically, I'm not 15. I'm not suffering from horrendous hormonal puberty depression (feels like permanent raging PMS, FYI) that I can only deal with by eating until my mind goes quiet and mellow. It's an old answer to a problem I don't have anymore and I have more helpful options to deal with problems now.

[Sheri6821]

I am ready to lose! Anyone with suggestions, I am open and ready to listen. This is my first time on this website and I feel so motivated. All of your postings make me feel right at home.

[Xan]

Way to go, Luminous! I think a lot of us can read your post going "uh-huh! uh-huh!" about 70-eleven times. I've made a list of all the things that derailed me, or that I let get in the way, and really really really think I not only have a Plan for the year, but have put into place (and in the pantry and freezer!) back up plans -- when I don't feel like cooking, or the new wonderful recipe turns out to be dry as pemican, there's good ol' Lean Cuisine. And I am absolutely determined to forget that there are snack machines in the basement!

Sheri, welcome! This is a great site. You'll find a lot of kind and supportive people here.

[sadiqa]

Luminous, I so appreciate your post. I am glad that I have decided to come back. I registered with this site a year ago and did little. In fact since then I gained over 30 pounds. I have also lost weight accidentally and intentionally. However both times when I get to a certain point say about 30 pound loss I totally freak out and start letting things get in the way of my plan, or slipping up and having an all or nothing attitude and completely throwing in the towel. After that completely guilted out it takes me a while to get the courage up again to try again. That old fear of failure thing. I know what works for me it is just a matter of pushing through that 30 pound weight loss. I have been hangin around 300-340 for the past 6 years back and forth down to 303 at one time and happy about going under 300 and then immediately doing a 180 and running. I really see how for me I need accountability. That is hard for me because I am so cottin pickin independant.
Thanks for your aha moment. It helped me more than you know.
Sadiqa