Morning
Ive been MIA for quite a while. I just dont have my heart into this....and I still dont. But, if I dont start eating properly, Im going to be back to 300lbs within the next month.
Ive been putting weight on at a rapid speed, and after some more research on what is happening with me....wether I like it or not, I have to cut the sugar out of my life completely. I have to take on the mentality that I am allergic to it! Ive been thinking about this for about a week now. Do I cut it out for good? Or do I go back to atkins, and allow for a free day every now and then. Ive decided to cut it out for good. Ive been struggling with sugar my entire life. My mother and I were talking about it this weekend. She remembers my cravings when I was a kid. I used to sneak sugar stuff, and eat the entire bag/box whatever it was. Its been a life long struggle.
Its not a "food" issue I have, its a "sugar" issue. Because everything I overeat is something that gives me that high. Even that loaf of italian bread!!
So my decision is made, Im a sugar/carb-oholic and I need to stop....or I'll be a decrepit old fat woman who is only 41 yrs old.
I took a nasty fall yesterday, 2nd fall this summer....I dont know if any of it is related to my eating poorly, but it was enough to scare me smart. If it hadnt been for my dd and a nice fella who happened to be there constantly asking me if I was alright, I think it would have taken me a very long time to get my bearings. I had a long talk with myself....alot of self loathing, and hatred was involved. This is when I decided, I dont want to spend the 2nd half of my life like this.
I'll be around alot more. Keep me honest ladies.