I am a disgusting fat ugly b***. I hate myself and I am at the end of my tether. Basically I am 16.7 5'9 and an obese size 20. Since the start of November I have been going to the gym almost every day, I have been watching what I eat almost obsessively...I've cut out chocolate, crisps and everything else that is thought to be calorific. My typical day consists of a banana for breakfast, 4 cracker breads with low fat cheese spread and salad for lunch and then for dinner something like a portion of fish or 2 quorn sausages with vegetables. Plus 2 hours of exercise EVERY DAY.
I have not lost a single lb. Why? I have been to the doctors and they've tested me for everything and it all came back clear. I have a 5 month old son and had to give up breast feeding after 2 months and was told by the doctor that my weight would go down. I hate myself so much. People stare at me and shout abuse at me in the street. I am so grossly obses that if there were bras in my size I'd be a 40 N.
When my son looks back at photos of me when he is older he will be shocked, horrofied and disgusted to have such a fat obese ugly grotesque mother. I really fear about him being bullied at school and on the street and it will be my fault because I am so disgusting and such a loser that I canot lose weight. He may even get to the point where he has nothing to do with me and who could blame him?
I am the fattest person I know. I stick out like a sore thumb at the gym and have so far ignored all the glances as I push myself as hard as possible to lose just one little single lb. I just don't think I can carry on like this. Please please please someone tell me how to make things better?