I have lost 23 pounds since July and I'm happy to report that I just bought my first pair of size 10 jeans last week! My problem is that people are starting to tell me not to lose any more weight. According to the weight charts and my BMI I am still considered overweight at 150 for my height and frame size. I set my goal at 140 lbs, which I think is a very realistic goal (the high end of the scale for my build [141 lbs - 127 lbs]). So my question is...how do you know what is the best weight to stop at and maintain? Do you go by charts and BMI or what friends and family tell you?

I've decided not to listen to anyone but myself. I'm going by how I feel - both physically and when I look in the mirror.

My original goal weight was 135. I've reached it but I'm still not quite happy. I've decided to maintain here for a while and concentrate on my weight training. If I can get the shape I'm looking for then I may be perfectly pleased with 135. If not, I'll tackle another 5 -10 pounds. I am not a perfectionist nor do I have unrealistic expectations for how my body should look. But, I know what I want and I know what I am capable of.

I, too, have had family and friends tell me that they think my weight is low enough. My theory is that they probably don't see me any more clearly than I used to see myself. They've known me as obese for so long that my current size seems especially small to them. But, I think that is just in comparison to my previous size. I don't think they'd consider a stranger on the street who is my size to be too thin. If you are unsure perhaps you could ask a third party (doctor or trainer maybe) who could give you a more objective opinion of whether or not you need to continue losing.

I went by where I felt most comfortable and what is maintainable for me. How tall are you and what is your frame size?
My original goal was 135. Everyone told me I looked great. Maintenance at that level was quite doable. But I still didn't like what I saw in the mirror. 15 pounds less of me and I like my body. I can wear any kind of clothes that I want, a very few people have told me that I've lost a few pounds too many, but most think I look great. I'd love to lose about 5 more, but maintenance at my current weight is difficult...I know going lower would be a full time job.

Remember that other people are used to the way you used to look. You are the one living in your skin. You chose your goal based on where you are comfortable and can maintain a healthy, balanced life.

Mel

I agree with Mel and Jawsmom -- it's about how you feel (or how you want to feel). I've found that each time I reach a certain goal, I want to keep going. But I know I'll reach a point where I'm satisfied with my body AND it won't be too hard to maintain. Meaning, I may "look great" at 115 lbs, but maintaining it would probably be totally unrealistic, so I need to find a happy medium.

When I started (at 189 lbs), I didn't actually have a goal in mind other than losing weight. Then I decided I wanted to be a size 12 (I started as a tight 18). When I reached a size 12, my next goal was to get out of the "overweight" BMI range -- which for my height of 5'4" is 145 lbs and below. When I hit normal BMI, I decided that 140 lbs or size 8 jeans (whichever came first) would be my next goal. I'm a size 8 now and closing in on 140, but because (knock on wood) everything is going so well, I've decided to keep going to at least 135, but possibly 130. When I get to 135, I'll decide how I feel. Honestly, I'd be happy as a clam to stay where I'm at (142 lbs) for life, but I know I can do "better" -- primarily because my tummy pooch isn't as small as I would like it to be. And aside from wanting a flatter stomach, my main interest now is in building better muscle tone, definition, and overall strength through weight training, which I love.

So, in my opinion, it's totally about how YOU feel. I find the charts, etc. are helpful sometimes, but don't base everything on that. Even doctors can have screwy ideas about what your weight "should be" (I've posted the following story a billion times already, so apologies to those of you who have read it): When I was 11 years old, my pediatrician weighed me. I was already 5'4" and I was 140 lbs. He told me to lose 20 lbs. I'm 142 lbs NOW and and there is no way on EARTH I need to lose another 22 lbs! Unless, of course, I want to be as skinny as Nicole Kidman. Which I don't .

Listen to YOURSELF. You're the one living in your body, so you make the call .

Thanks for the wonderful advice ladies! I'm 5' 5" with a medium frame and although I'm thrilled to be at the weight I am now I still don't think that it is a healthy weight for me...especially since the extra weight is still coming off without changing my calorie intake or exercise routine. I might think differently if I was struggling to lose or maintain that weight. I was just afraid that maybe I was still seeing myself as overweight and not seeing the same loss that everyone else is. Jawsmom and Mel made a good point when they said that these people are used to seeing me heavy...most of them didn't even know me 25 years ago when I weighed 140, so that makes a lot of sense.

Thanks again for the help...10 more pounds to go and then I'll decide if I need to keep going or maintain.

This has been helpful to me too. I'm 5'8" with a small frame. I'm continuing to drop pounds past my original goal and am trying really hard to be mindful of when it's time to say enough. The fact that I've increased my calories in the last month and I'm still losing tells me that I'm in no danger of being at a hard to maintain weight yet.

This is odd territory though... I was so concerned for so long with just getting to a non-obese size that it feels... shallow I guess... to have reached this fine tuning stage. Has anybody else felt like that?

That is exactly what my family is telling me! Like I'm obsessed or sick or something.
I'm still not happy with my size. I guess it is more my shape really, because I'm in an 8 which is 1 size lower than I had in mind as my goal size.
I want to lose another 10-15 and whenever I tell people that they give me such a reaction that it makes me think I might be going overboard.
I don't think that is what it is, though. It seems like we are all in the same boat, still being healthy about it, but still striving. Let's not let them get to us, be strong, it took so much strength to get to this point, we shouldn't give in right before the finish line.

I think it must shock most people to hear you want to lose 10 more lbs when they think you look great already.

Here's my take on it. We've been so fat for so long, that anything less than our own ideal "perfect body" may come as a dissapointment. Also these people that are shocked hearing you want to lose 10 more lbs or whatever, may also be thinking, **** I want to lose 10 more lbs and I'd look super-fab too!

They are comparing you to how you used to look. My friends still gasp when I tell them I want to lost another 15-20lbs but they don't see my thunder thighs and wobbly bottom (which I had the pleasure of aquainting when DF was playing with the camera the other night. So kind of him!) that are hiding underneath the clothes! I'll admit, I look pretty good - IN CLOTHES, but what about that bikini?? What about mini hotpants that I promised my kickboxing instructor I'd wear?

After all I don't just want to look "good" I want to look "SMOKIN'"!

That's funny 2frustrated! I don't know if I can be smokin' at 43, but I do plan to look better than "good".

wow, I'm such a rebel, I'm 5'6 and am in better shape than I have ever been in my life,
healthwise, I really didn't start out with a weight goal I started out with health goal. I
only weighed between 115-120 my adult life except I had a bad habit really bad. I quit smoking well they say food is the new tobacco and I proved it I ate junk food until I reached 179. that was it as I approached 45. I knew I wanted to be disease free, and strong, for me I wanted my body to be hard and sleek and well, to have my body the way I will have to weigh about 120. I could care less what others say as look as I am healthy and if I have to look sexy and hot oh well it is a burden I will have to bare. Its your life be your best stay healthy and be strong