Tammy, I'm not going to ask what it is you can possibly love about this abusive jerk, because at this point I doubt you understand either, but its definitely time to stop loving him and start loving yourself ~ you are worth so very, very much more than he's allowing you to believe. From everything I've read you are a caring, loving and involved mother and no words he can throw at you in an attempt to push you over the edge can change that. I know you're overwhelmed and need immediate guidance. While its great that you're seeking help from psychologist/phychiatrist, I do understand that its difficult enough dealing with the emotional pain without the added worry of how you'll manage financially. Others have questioned whether there are social services and programs (through church/state/military) available to help people in your situation (such as subsidies for daycare, housing, etc.) I know its difficult to function right now, but please look into the options available to you so that independence can become a reality and you can truly get on with your life.