Hi people, so glad to see some action here. I was looking for you ALL day yesterday, I was so down and out. But with the time difference I was totally alone! Boo hoo!! But I made it through and DID get to the gym. I was dragging but I did a little, jogged 3K and did a light chest/back workout and some crunches. What a wimpout for me though. I was really depressed and I know the reason. I got on the scale yesterday morning, mainly because it was New Year's Day and I thought I should face the number and just get on with it. Well, I was shocked to see the number. I honestly couldn't believe it because I'm still wearing the same clothes and I have lost so much heavy muscle. And I'm even lower than I was last month I know. Ah heck, it's so depressing when I think of last summer and how fit (thought still overweight) I was, how revved at the gym I was and just, damn, damn, damn. . . it really ticked me off.
But then I thought, OK, that was then, this is now, and I've just got to accept it and deal with it. It's so depressing though. . . Also, though, I'm trying to do it without the caffeine kick and that was major I think. I used to down a strong Starbucks and hit the gym all hyped up. Now I go in cold and people ask what's wrong. That doesn't help. I don't feel that bad but to them it's like a different person. Yeah, druggie, no druggie, I guess it is quite different. Now I start to understand why it's hard for people to get off drugs and alcohol when they're in a crowd that expects them to act as they've always acted.
OK, I'm rambling. You all must be sick of my long posts. . .
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susanne -- Glad to see you back. I'm glad you had a date last night! Was it fun? Hope so, and hope the gym's open. Try not to see the gym as a chore, as something you HAVE to do. Try to see it as something you WANT to do, a treat to yourself, a reward. Those "skinny people" in there may or may not move much but they probably don't eat much either and even if they do, well, there's lots more people with the same body makeup and metabolism as well. Consistency is key. It's so easy to "be good" and then undo all that goodness in a few minutes. I can We have to change our habits. Don't get down. Please keep going to the gym and and watching what you eat. You will get there. The 220s are not that far away. The next step is never far away, and then it's the next and the next and the next.
And yes, I know exactly how you feel about being scared. I was just thinking the same thing. But, tell me, does your fear come from knowing that others will notice or from your own fear? I have fear and anxiety about others. I don't want to be noticed. No one believes it when I say it but I am very shy and hate people commenting on me. Maybe it's the criticism (even positive), not the attention. In any case, I don't want people to make comments. I said earlier I want people to judge me on my looks but actually I dread it because then I'm afraid I will think of them as shallow. Anyhow, what am I trying to say? I guess, just, many of us are scared but think of it as stepping out on an adventure. There may be some rough spots, such as the ones that little grasshopper mentioned but there will be a lot more good parts. And certainly, a lot more than you have now. You have learned a lot from being overweight. Take that experience into a new body and you will have a much richer perspective than people who have never been where you are now.
michie -- where do you go?! Sure wish we could see more of you. But so good to see you now. I'm with Crime girl and envious of your iPod! I would love to have one but they are quite dear. I'm worried about getting music for them and the quality. How is that and where do you get the music from (for free preferably). Good for you for going to your WW meeting. I don't think anyone really WANTS to go to the meetings unless they've lost but going even though you've gained or had a very rough week is soooo important. I used to go to WW meetings back when I was a teenager eons ago and I think more emphasis should be placed on keeping on keeping on. Maybe things have changed but I kind of doubt it. I was just thinking again yesterday how I want someone to tell me HOW to keep going when I'm so tired of failing, of not getting anywhere, how to try yet again and yet again and how to envision all these great things when I've never had them. I try and I'm learning to just tell myself to shut up! with the downer thoughts but it is SOOOO hard. Good luck to you kid!
stormy --
on the no sweets! That's stupendous going. And what's wrong with Italian and Mexican?!! OH, I know, it's that those words mean mega calories, right! Well, they don't have to. In fact, you can eat healthfully with both and some of the best diets are based around them. Of course, going out to eat can be a problem especially if you're going to these chain restaurants where emphasis is on packing it in, the food and the calories. I was just reading how Italian cuisine with its olive oil and fresh herbs is one of the best for staying slim. I love fresh herbs and spices and am thinking this is what I have to force myself to do. Hard in my hole of a kitchen. Maybe I should start there. But good luck up at school. There must be other places to eat than Subway, no? Try to find them, try to think what you can do to avoid the pitfalls of fastfood. I am appalled when I go back to the States and see the food offerings, those Food Malls, or whatever they're called in the malls these days. Ugh! It's so hard to get something good. With so many people wanting to eat right, why do the companies keep pushing this stuff on everyone. You've got to rebel!
Crime girl -- Hope you feel better soon. You sure are getting sick a lot, aren't you? You were just over being sick. I had a sore throat the other day. It never developed into anything but I'm very blue these days and my voice sounds like I have a cold so I guess I'm keeping something at bay. Take care!
Good for you for doing so well with your eating last week. This is what I have to tell myself, perfectionist me, don't lump it because everything isn't just right. Aim to make it better than the last day, better than the day before, better than the moment's choice could have been. Sometimes we have to limp along, sometimes we have to crawl, but anything is better than lying there like a log!! You will move that bootie next week, Crime girl, even if it's just a wiggle and laugh and enjoy your weight loss journey!
lilttle grasshopper -- that was so interesting what you wrote about feeling more comfortable at a higher weight. That's awful that it comes to that. I think it's part of what I fear, especially in this male-dominated society. And my biggest annoyance is not the Japanese so much because they never come out and say anything, it's the foreigners here (and they tend to be types that would enjoy the male-dominated society, if you know what I mean) and the things they say. Now, I can laugh along or chide them for their vulgarities because, heh, I'm certainly not the focus of their attention. But IF I were, wow, what to do? I guess I'll have to learn. Anyhow, I think I'm too old anymore. Sigh of relief. . and yet not. . .
Great that you're going to the gym too and walking. Do you live in a walking kind of town. I know so many U.S. towns are totally for driving only. That's why I love New York. Last time I was at my father's outside of Pittsburgh I was stopped by the police who wanted to know what I was doing! Honest, they must have thought I was a vagrant. They even offered to drive me home but I told them I wanted to walk.
Oh, and crazy with your friend flipping out. If she's on meds (what might those be) and drinking? too, no wonder she flipped. I think it's extremely rude to fight in front of others but I have done it somewhat when I was drinking. It is embarrassing and I am ashamed and angry when it happens. It means, however, that it's time for that BF to hit the road!