Hi Wedded – back again – thanks for taking the time to let us know what’s going on with you.
Wow – what a whirlwind year you’ve had! No wonder you’ve had trouble maintaining focus - everything that worked for you before has changed. It’s like you’re back at the beginning and need to figure out new ways to make diet and exercise fit in with all the changes in your life. What worked before isn’t going to work now.
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So I just blabbed a whole lot about things- I'm starting to realize the causes, but I'm still not sure how to fix it.
That’s the great thing about posting here – sometimes just writing things out makes them a little clearer and sets us on the path to thinking of solutions. And then you've got all of us to help with ideas!
You got some great suggestions about trying to make what you’re eating less boring. We really have to enjoy what we’re eating or else it’s impossible to stick to, long-term (as you’re finding out). Suggestion – if you’re missing cheese, mocha drinks, and Mexican food (and whatever else), figure out a way to put them in your food plan. The nutritionist gave you a good basic food plan, but it’s not magic or written in stone. You can change it to suit your likes and needs, especially if you count calories and keep approximately the same calories and/or protein, fat, and carb ratios. Some people do a once a week treat meal (or day); others just figure out how to eat what they like on a daily basis. Do it YOUR way - because you’re going to be doing it forever if you want to keep the weight off.
About the fear factor – I have to agree with almostheaven – I don’t WANT to lose the fear. Being afraid of going back to where I was definitely keeps me on track. I don’t ever want to forget how it felt to be obese; those memories will keep me from regaining the weight. Along those lines, I don’t ever want to lose the guilt factor either, like if I eat something that I shouldn’t. If I just forgave myself and moved on (like some people recommend), I think I’d do it way too often and forgive myself right back to 257 pounds. I WANT to feel guilty, be mad at myself, and feel like crap if I go off-track. Crazy as it sounds, I think that fear and guilt can be useful emotions in maintenance (at least for me).
It sounds like the wedding was your goal and you’re floundering a bit now that you’re past it. Can you think of some new goals or something else to focus on? They don’t have to be weight related, necessarily. Sometimes a fitness goal works better, like an achievement or just exercising a certain number of times a week. Is DH still losing weight or watching what he eats? Can the two of you sit down and brainstorm ways to make this work for the two of you? (it's so much easier with your spouse helping!
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I think you're going to be just fine, Wedded.
Maintenance isn't a one-way street - for a lot of people, there's some regain and loss and regain and loss. It's a continual process of learning about ourselves and what we can sustain as a lifestyle for the rest of our lives. Because the biggest lesson I think that any of us here at Maintainers has learned is that this HAS to be for the rest of our lives if we want to keep the weight off.
We're glad you're here - keep posting!