Wow, what a great thread this is!
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Full of lots of powerful emotion that I totally understand, but I bet most of our friend IRL wouldn't, necessarily.
Ruth, I know what you mean. Everytime I lose a pound, part of me is rejoicing and part of me is cringing and wanting to binge. I'm terrified of losing this weight and I know it! Being fat gives us so much freedom from trying to compete with the looks of others, measuring our beauty, and being noticed by other people...I know that sometimes we are noticed for our huge size, but a lot of the time, we are invisible. We don't fit into the equation, so we are knocked out. I'm terrified of being ogled by men. I don't want them to even know I am there! That just scares me utterly!!! I've never really been flirted with and I would have no idea how to handle it!
And I hate the thought of comparing what will be a size 12 body with other's size sixes. You know?
As to the baby thing...I understand why you are worried...and considering that my mom's huge size is due entirely to unlost baby weight, I think you are more than justified! But normal baby weight gain is 20-30 pounds. I can totally deal with that!!! If I (and you) can lose dozens of pounds, we can lose 20-30.
Breastfeeding is supposed to help, and if we continue the tenets of SBD and don't let "eating for two" become an excuse to binge, we can make it through, together. I think several of us SBDers will be trying at the same time next year...and we'll all cross that bridge when we come to it, hands held tight, okay?
: (
somebody want to sing Cumbaya? )
Love the five pound rule idea...that's what keeps my friends and sisters skinny. They eat like piglets, then when they gain, they diet. Hopefully, we can use that rule and modify it to a once-in-a-while treat, not a daily back and forth as they do.
Laurie, I know how you feel. For years I believed that I had no way of telling when I was full! Then I did a diet called "Weigh Down"...it's a Christian based diet. The main tenet is that you need to eat only when you are hungry and stop when you are full. My experience with that taught me that when I slow down and really pay attention to my body (not reading and watching tv while eating), I do know when I am full! I think if I could sense it, you can too! It just takes time and really listening. I realized that I was making a conscious choice (sometimes because I was terrified that I wouldn't get the food again...
)to keep eating past full...and that I knew I would get sick when I did. I'm sure you can do this...just keep trying. Ginny, the founder of Weigh Down, recommended to us that we cut our portions in half and eat only half, first, to see if that filled us up. I never ate the second half when I did that. But if I hadn't cut it, I would have easily ate it all in two gulps! Then wanted more!!!
Eat slow and pay attention to your body. It has a tiny voice, but it does tell you when you are full.