I had my dh take some pictures of me in a gray one piece form fitting workout outfit a couple of weeks ago. They've been sitting in the digital camera since then, I was scared to download them. I'd seen them on the little screen on the camera but I didn't want to see them on the computer screen. Well I gotta tell you that it really hurts seeing how I really look. It makes me sad to see myself like this. I feel sometimes like I've been dead for years, all this horrible fat had just drowned me. Does anyone wonder what happened to that other person, the person you were many years ago before fat because such a big part of your life? I remember back when I was in high school and I was so active and happy. When and why did I stop being that person?

Wow that sounds really depressing doesn't it? I'm normally a pretty happy and positive person but seeing these pictures made it really hit home. I printed them out and I'm posting them on the fridge. Maybe that will work to keep my paws of food I shouldn't be eating and motivate me to get my rear in gear.

I know Jen.. It is sad but when were upset thats when we tend to just throw the towel in... My idea is to keep weighloss positive.. Focus on the positive. Picture it as game, a challenge.. Be greatful that you now have the opportunity to change it! I know, some people think my way of thinking is just wack-o but it is helping me to focus on the goal and keep moving forward. You can do it. You can also be happy now and even happier later!!

I admit, I felt the same you did before and during that time, diets never worked for me. I changed my attitude about it.. Made myself ready for the challenge and this time it is really working!

I have been in the same boat. I was down to 302 and felt great but then let it creep back up. Gretchen is right though. We have to stay positive. Kimberley and I look at it like bargin hunting. We have this much to spend each day what can I get with my money for the day. At the end of the week we can see what all are bargins have done for us.

I Love that HOWIE!!! Bargain Shopping.. That is AWESOME.. I am now adding that to my brain forever!!!

It works for us and makes it a little more fun.

Don't beat yourself up over it. I agree with Gretchen, don't let it get you down, let it motivate you. I saw some pics of me about 5 years ago (I weighed then what I weigh now) and was so disgusted with myself at how fat I looked but I never did anything about it. Now I just accept the fact that I'm going to still look this way for another year or so and just continue to eat healthy and exercise. I've lost 20 pounds so far and I can already see a difference. I took starting pics at 285 then progress pics at 275. I couldn't see much difference in the 2 but now that 6 more pounds have come off I can really start to see the difference. (I even braved the camera and took bikini shots) I don't view them but will post them when I start to see more of a difference. I took them because I want to make sure everyone knows where I came from in a few years when no one remembers how I used to look. that and it will serve as a reminder for me of where I don't want to ever go again.) Okay enough rambling from me.

Howie, that is an excellent way to look at it!! I love that!! Kudos for coming up with such a unique way to go about yours and Kimberley's weight loss journey.

Love the bargain food approach, Howie.....let us know when you find the best ones!

I think maybe I'm very lucky in the way I feel about myself. I'm a pretty confident person, and I'm not particularly convinced that my life would have been so different even if I'd been much smaller in size........but I do believe that its totally self-defeating to beat yourself up about what you look like, or what you used to look like. So I'm with Gretchen, however hard it is, best to look forward, and feel good about what you can change, than to look back and feel bad about what you can't change.

That is a great way to look at it Howie.

In Jan 2003 I was down to 202lbs, but I slipped and never even made it to Onederland. There isnt a single day that goes by now that I don't think back about what I must have been thinking. And I remember even then looking in the mirror and at pictures and thinking how awful I looked. Now, I can't wait to get back there! I remember how great I felt, and I want that back again, so I'm going for it. I can't change what I did in the past, but I have control over what I do now.

Howie I love that!

Oh, Jen, don't be discouraged! Everybody's right ~ just think of those pics as a remembrance that you can look back on with joy, once you've lost weight and are feeling even better!

I can't believe some of the old pics of myself. It hurts to look at myself like that, but my oh my, what an incentive to keep pushing on no matter how many times I fall. It's one of my anchors, and it will be one for you too! Go get 'em, girl!

Jen, I have a hard time looking at pictures of me also. But, when I was 150 pounds I thought I was fat in those pictures. I'm keeping it positive though. I can see a difference in pictures taken 6 months ago and pictures taken recently and to me that is a victory. Try not to be over-critical of yourself. You are going to watch yourself become thinner and thinner with time and you are not going to see that person you are so uncomfortable looking at now staring back at you.

Shopping.. Howie - thanks for the great comparison! And I love shopping - when I'm thin anyways.. makes it way more fun!

I have a really hard time looking at photos, but like Gretchen said focus on the positive so rather than posting a "FAT" picture on the fridge... post a picture of yourself that you love.. That'll be even more motivation!

Thanks everyone for their support. I'm feeling okay about myself most of the time, it's just seeing these pictures is really a kick in the rear. It has been very helpful in stopping myself from grazing as I have them posted on the fridge and I can't help but see them when I go in the kitchen. I don't see the pictures as being discouraging, it is the true and honest way that I look and the sooner that I own up to that and take responsibility for what I have done to my body the sooner I can get on with improving my health. I look forward to taking more pictures a few months from now and seeing definate improvements.