Vermont Mom, Lisa, and Ibelieveinme2 - thank you SO much for the warm welcome and congratulations. I am feeling excited to have joined your group.
Lisa - did you end up going out and getting your ear pierced?
Lovelyleah - I am sorry that you are feeling overwhelmed etc. I can totally relate to feeling overwhelmed at home. I have been taking baths to calm down (I find it really tires me out) and also planning small activities or outings for myself...It has helped me cope a bit.
This week was a sort of mixed bag for me. I went to the gym during the hardest part of the week (Monday to Wednesday). I ended up skipping my other gym day. I just felt so awful and hopeless Thursday/Friday. Unfortunately I tend to push my husband away when I get in this sort of state. I ended up not speaking with him for a whole day and night. I know I am just punishing myself when I act that way...he is such a happy person and has a lot of resilience. I think I take things out on him because I am frustrated that I am not as resilient. He is so forgiving however. He truly is the love of my life.
I have an appointment in a couple of weeks to talk to my employment counsellor again. It's a weird catch 22. I absolutely cannot stay at my current place of employment, but at the same time I don't have the self esteem to put myself out there and find something else. I have put off doing the activities the employment counsellor asked me to complete a few months ago. However, I am now almost done and for sure I will be done in time for the appointment. I get so afraid that I will be stuck in this job forever. I am grateful for it on a lot of ways, but it is chipping away at me every day.
I am also hoping to get a prescription for Vyvanse this week. I have been doing well following my food plan for three weeks. However, I can see myself easily going back to binge eating. Basically, I will eat well for a few weeks and then binge very badly and skip the gym for a couple weeks at a time. I have been a secret eater since I was 10 and its the most comforting thing to me when things aren't going well. I am especially "at risk" when my husband is not home because I would never want him to know how sick I am.
Work has been especially horrible...I feel like I am treated like a robot who shouldn't have opinions or thoughts. I am hoping that the prescription might help curb my desire to binge until I find a new job. I am worried about gaining even more weight over the next few months. I think a prescription would take a huge weight off my shoulders.
Normally I use my "play" money to find my binge foods...I was thinking of stopping myself at the pass by taking my money and buying some new interview clothes. And maybe a new haircut. Just like spending every last dollar so I can't go and buy snacks.
I guess overall things aren't great but there are some good things. I am proud of myself for going to the gym three times last week and for upping my cardio. I also did a lot of housework this weekend. I also found stuff for myself to do at home while my husband had to work extra this weekend.
Hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend.