Quote:
Originally Posted by owlsteazombies
It's been awhile since I've posted. We've moved cross country and have been exploring our new area, which is nice. Until we come back to the house we're renting.
We're looking for a place to buy, but it's taking awhile. In the meantime, our neighbors seem to have a gazillion and a half kids, pay no heed to how loud they are and at what time they're loud. But the kicker, the thing I can't stand. They have a rooster. An f'ing rooster.
It was quaint and kind've cute the first day. But then after the week went on, and another week, and then another, it wasn't so cute anymore. Now, when it wakes me up at 4am, I want to march next door with a knife, a copy of the farm animal ordinance, the noise ordinance and a box of shake n bake.
And since I'm up that early, I get hungry that early. So I eat more. And then I get stressed that I'm stressed and eating more.
Im so sorry you are going through that. I would be losing my mind. White noise machine? Ear plugs? ( industrial strength) calling the police if there is a noise ordinance? Stuff that like that drives me crazy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Palestrina
Someone posted this on the IE site and I had to share. It fits so perfectly with the intuitive path we are all on.
Autobiography in Five Short Chapters
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost... I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place.
But, it isn't my fault.
It still takes me a long time to get out.
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in. It's a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault. I get out immediately.
walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
I walk down another street.
-Portia Nelson
I love this Palestrina, very apt.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Locke
Palestrina,
So true! And it's totally okay if we go from walking down another street to back in the hole because sometimes progress isn't linear.
I agree with this too.
So, I have just been doing my thing. A couple of days ago I ate before bed, I dont' normally do that. I felt a TINGE guilty but I told myself I wasn't feeling guilty for eating food anymore so I stopped that. I was comfortably full when I went to bed. I woke up the next morning and noticed I wasn't hungry. I observed that and went on about my morning. Suddenly at 11 am ( I get up at 6:30) I realized that I hadn't eaten yet AND I hadn't thought about breakfast or food ALL morning. The reason I was thinking of food at 11 in the morning? I was starting to get hungry. So I made myself some food. It was delicious, the end. I usually eat breakast but I guess because I ate before bed, I wasn't hungry when I got up. But if I had been it still would have been ok. My body won't lead me astray.
Today I went grocery shopping. I went to the vegetable aisle to pick up some peppers for my dh's salsa. Then I found myself gleefully plucking green beans, spinach, cabbage, leeks, broccoli and putting them in my cart like I was a kid at a candy store. I was EXCITED about the green veggies. I can't think of the last time I did that. I always hate buying vegetables. I feel like I SHOULD and I feel guilty if I don't and then a lot of times I don't eat them. In fact, I haven't bought vegetables for a couple of weeks now and I have been fine with that. Today, I really wanted and enjoyed buying them. And Im not saying that buying green veggies is better than buying tortillas and bread. Im just saying that wow, my body really can tell me what it wants if I can just LISTEN without guilt and my mind getting in the way. Im totally making leek and potato soup this week. so excited.
And finally, one thing I have realized that was VERY detrimental in my IE journey was not eating until I was "hungry enough". Now, if I feel any twinge of hunger, I will eat. Maybe because I come from a restricting background, but if Im hungry, it really is time for me to eat. No hunger levels needed. It has been so much easier to get in touch with my body this way, and also now my body is starting to trust that I will eat when Im hungry and I don't have to wait until I am "hungry enough" before I will feed myself. Now I know why I couldn't stop eating at mealtimes until I was really full. I still had the scarcity mentality because of that.
And now I am just not sweating food like I used to. I eat when Im hungry, whatever sounds good and until Im satisfied. I often find myself forgetting about food until Im hungry. I feel like I am finally going back to how I was pre 2n'd pregnancy diet rabbithole. Obviously the journey isn't linear and that is ok. Later I might eat because Im upset or something looks good and Im not hungry, and that is also OK.