I hope you don't mind yet another introduction. My name is Heidi. I'm 32, mother of 2, and retired teacher. (hated that job!) I've been here several times, yet here I am again, under a new name to hide my shame and embarrassment.
I think I'm a food addict. I love to eat, and will eat no matter the time of day or how I feel. When I start to diet and think about denying myself a single thing, that is the thing my body will demand the most, and will eventually consume. That is why diets don't work for me.
I'm working on my addiction one day at a time. I feel like a drug addict, a smoker and alcoholic all in one. Just saying I will stop eating the wrong foods in huge amounts won't stop what I'm doing. I KNOW what to do, I've tried to stop over and over again, and through the years have come to this conclusion about myself. I need more than motivation. I need inner strength, major willpower, and a way to get past this horrible monster inside of me that won't let me make my own food choices. I hate that monster. He is very misguided and cruel.
If any of you have fought your addictions (the monster within), please let me know where to turn to next. I need a place to go here where everyone understands how I feel and how much pain I go through everyday. Is there such a place?
Thanks,
Heidi
170/145/125 5'4"