Hello coaches,
Day 2 - choose 2 diets, which I am turning into choose 2 budget systems! I have been using a software program called YNAB (You Need A Budget) for awhile. It is a good program so it will be my number one choice. In a way it is like an electronic version of the envelope system. Plus I have apps that automatically link to it on my phone and iPad so it is very easy to enter information straight away - and it is very easy to see at the point if purchase whether there are any $ left in a budget category.
The flaw in these kinds of systems (and one which I have historically exploited to the max) is that although I have $X in my "electricity bill" envelope it is only virtual money and the $X,000 overdraw in my "spending envelope" means that when the electricity bill comes in there are only virtual dollars in the envelope and no actual $ with which to pay the bill.
And the way my head works as soon as something is sufficiently in the red that paying it off in one pay is not achievable I get into the "well I've blown it so I might as well keep going" mindset. And if I say "you can't spend anything at all" then it is so restrictive that I end up bingeing as soon as a pay comes in.
So - what I have done is set up two separate spending money envelopes. One has the big negative balance - and I am not allowed to spend from that at all. The second one has a small amount going in each pay and I am allowed to spend it - but it absolutely cannot go into the red! The theory is that gradually the one with the big negative balance will gradually reduce, and eventually, in about 2 years time, it will have a zero balance. I think it will work. The one limitation to it is that I will have some big bills coming in in the next 6 months that I can't budget for so they will just have to be be added to the envelope with the big negative balance. But nothing else can!
My back up budgeting system is the physical envelope system. It would be logistically more challenging and it would annoy me to be laying credit card interest when there is cash in an envelope at home - but if I can't keep to the program in the land of virtual money I will give it a try.
Some credits for today: I stopped myself from checking out the ad for apps that link with my fitness pal - a fitbit is not something i need so why torture myself thinking about it. Similarly something I was using today linked me to the App Store on my iPad. I had just clicked on the "Best Apps of 2013" and then thought - no, don't go there - there is nothing you need and it will only ake you want stuff you don't need. Did a bit if good thinking today too - one of my kids wants a new pair of swimmers - she has some that fit but they are pretty worn out and she doesn't like them anymore. In the past I would have just let her get new ones. I also promised the kids (months ago) new sandals for the summer. They have thongs (can't remember if that word is used in the US - beach shoes basically - maybe called flip flops?). I won't have enough in my "kid's expenses" envelope to buy sandals and swimmers - so I realised I can let them decide - would they rather have new swimmers and make do with wearing things this summer? Or would they prefer to make do with their existing swimmers and get some sandals.
Sorry this is so long, it is really helpful to talk this stuff through.
PAMATGA - I think you are absolutely right that in the circumstances you should be just applauding yourself for getting through each day. I remember a colleague of mine who works with people living on welfare getting really angry once when someone spouted off about some women living on the poverty line needing to learn how to budget. This colleague made the comment that in his experience people living on extremely low incomes were the best budgeters he had ever met!
And I also think you are right that it is important to sometimes give yourself - treat. The parallels with food are so common and here is another - if you never let yourself have a food you love then eating healthier won't work because eventually you will cave and go crazy. Similarly, to my mind, to live within one's means requires giving oneself some wriggle room to enjoy life. As with food though the challenge is just to get the balance right - splurge sufficiently infrequently, or sufficiently frugally (as it sounds like you have) that the big goal is not undermined, while at the same time making sure it is frequent enough that you don't go on a monetary binge when you finally take the brakes off.
In any event - hats off to you Pam for getting through each day.