I eat from stress and in the past, I have had a lot of stress in my marriage.
We have had the usual money problems and in-law problems. My husband didn't hold down a job during the first years of the marriage and he didn't seem to care how it affected me. When his mother was verbally abusive to me, he never defended me. But the hardest thing for me was when our attractive neighbor moved in next door. My husband went crazy for her. It wasn't just that he was sexually attracted to her, he acted as though she was the person he had been looking for all of his life. Every time she was outside, he would find a reason to go and be with her. He acted as though he was obsessed. She is married with kids and, as far as I know, has done nothing to encourage him but she must have seen his demeanor and figured it out. She and he would spend hours talking and I was never invited to join them.
I did find out about some negative gossip about me between she and another neighbor. At the same time, I was dealing with the deaths of my parents and an abusive boss.
I was so angry and exhausted that I gave everyone the cold shoulder, especially my husband. I confronted him and he didn't deny what is going on. During the heated confrontation, he admitted that he married me because he was afraid that he wouldn't find anyone else. I told him that I wanted out. He talked me into staying by assuring me that he loves me and wants the marriage to last. Since then, he has not pursued the neighbor, to my knowledge.
I would like to forgive and forget but I just don't trust him and I am still pissed off about the whole situation. The relationship with the neighbor is very strained so every time I come in and out of my driveway, I dread running into her.
I have stayed because my husband and I have had a deep friendship and connection. We have supported each other through many other life experiences so it has been hard to decide to walk away.
I am interested in what you would do in this situation. I have lost some trust and respect for him. I feel very badly that I didn't handle this better and I would love to know your thoughts.