Hey ! I know I fell off the edge of a cliff in October. So did all attempts at weightless, as a consequence I am back to 198
I do have a reason, not that it is a reason, because actually it isn't, but my father was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer at the end of October. He was given 7 weeks to live, here we are 5 journeys back to the UK, hundreds of stressful phonecalls, counseling my mother and brother, and my father is still alive-just.
I have a long documented history of difficulies with my family. I have found the last few months hideously hard, and although I haven't fallen into a vat of chocolate and cream cakes, I have eaten more than I should.
I restarted 7 days ago, and apart from one slip up have been doing well. I am just scared at the speed that the weight has gone on, the difficulty I have in focusing on it and the effect that stress has played in my life.
I am cross, but determined, him dying will not send me back to 300lbs. I hated myself at that weight. I am not too keen on me right now, but I think some meanness from my family has played a part in how I feel. Just venting, but I am trying. I genuinely want to get my size 8's back on (I have lovely clothes, but they are too small).
I need to learn to deal with the stress, and continue to make good food choices, one day at a time. Thanks for listening
x
