Hello everyone. I've been dieting on and off for years, and spent a lot of time lurking around this site, getting motivated and joining challenges and the like, and then falling off the wagon. As a young adult, I was never skinny, but I was pretty fit around age 17 when I was taking karate classes and spending a lot of time exercising. I think my lowest weight was about 196ish and I was a size 14. I considered myself fat then, but looking back at pictures, I realize I wasn't that overweight... heck, I didn't even have flabby underarms!
Fast forward several years to college and I puffed up to about 250. I held that weight for a while, and then gradually went up to 270. It was then that I decided to take control, and I started exercising again and making better food choices. I lost 20 pounds over about two months, and then I fell off the wagon, and a few years ago, I found myself at 302. Eek!
Since then, I have been trying to get back to my high school weight. I tried weight watchers, atkins, dukan, good 'ole calorie counting... and I did manage to get myself down to 254 in March 2012. I think what helped me get there was a goal. I lost the first 20 pounds over the course of a year, and I lost the next 26 over 2 - 3 months in preparation for a trip to Belize over spring break to study hummingbirds. Once I got back home, though, I really didn't try as hard, and my grandmother passed away last summer, which led me to do some emotional eating and slowly but surely I found myself getting heavier and heavier and I recently got on the scale and found that I was at 280. No wonder my pants have been starting to feel tighter!
So I've been counting my calories and trying to exercise these past two weeks. I didn't do my official weekly weigh-in yet (that's tomorrow), but I was down to 274 as of this morning. I've decided that I really need to start fresh and get some support if I really want to lose weight. Ultimately, I want to lose half my body weight from my highest point (302).
I've decided that having some goals might help encourage me. The first of which is to get back to 254 by September. It's a bit ambitious, but I start graduate school in the fall and I will be taking a class that will involve some work in streams... which will probably mean wearing waders. Last summer I worked on a trout project and I spent a lot of time in waders. The waders I wore fit fine, although the foot size was way too big (my school didn't have any in my shoe size). Then they bought new waders that were a different brand, and this past spring I could barely squeeze into them... and I was wearing the largest shoe size they had! In case you aren't familiar with waders, they tend to be a little bigger as the shoe size goes up, but not by much. So I am somewhat terrified that I will need to wear waders and will be too fat to do so. I was able to kind of laugh off being too fat amongst friends in my class, but now I will be at a new university with new people... and I will just die if I can't fit.
I also have a more long-term goal. I will be heading to Japan sometime next summer for 3 weeks to do research, and I really really really want to be in Onederland by then. It isn't the flight I am worried about... I've done some flying around this weight, and while I end up being quite close to my neighbors, I don't have issues with the seat belts or anything. It's more of a mix between wanting to be physically fit to do some hiking outside carrying around equipment and wanting to not look like a giant blob amongst the skinny Japanese.
I'm also going to an amusement park for the first time in probably 8 years on Thursday. I am terrified that I won't fit on the roller coasters and will be humiliated in front of my friends. I keep trying to recall how much I weighed as a kid... I was a fat little kid and I know I fit on the same roller coasters then... but I don't think I was a size 22 as a kid. I do remember being a size 16 at some point, and I was either a 22 or 24 when I was 14 and I definitely rode roller coasters then... but I'm still afraid! Despite the fact that I know I was at least a 22 when I was 14 and I know I had no problems on the rides, I weighed 40 pounds less than I do know... which makes me wonder if sizes have changed since then or if perhaps I was wearing a loose size 22. A few inches could mean the difference between fitting in the seat or not!
But anyway, I am starting a new and looking for some support! I know I have come to the right place and I know the time is right to finally kick this fat. I recently stopped biting my fingernails, which I had been doing since I grew teeth. If I mustered up the will power to kick a 28 year old habit, I think I can succeed at weight loss!
