Hugs! I have been maintaining a more than 100 pound weight loss more or less by sliding up & down some for two decades or so, although I haven't ever reached the original weight again & I personally have found my weight loss & maintenance journey fun. I only mention this because sometimes when people at lower weights post on these boards & don't mention a history of being heavier it seems as though they can't understand how there are difficulties being at a higher weight but I just wanted to pop in & mention that I can relate to a lot of what you say, especially anger. I am an angry person at times & have wondered if the weight journey might be silently triggering that.
What you say may or may not be valid about maybe not trying to lose weight again. Many people make that decision & it works well for them in terms of peace of mind, lifestyle & health. Some studies show that people with higher weights live longer & are healthier than those at lower weights.
I have no advice because the choice is yours. I just wanted to wish you luck whatever you decide.