Hey everyone,
I hope you are all having a wonderful day. I've been having a down few days and just wanted to share. I am still losing weight and yup, I am hella proud about my almost 36 lbs lost so far. People are noticing, I notice it, etc.
I just feel so...almost turned off to my emotions? I don't think I am necessarily being critical of my body, but I'm definitely aware of this spot that needs to lose, this spot...it's almost like I am so hyperaware of how far I have left to go that I am having trouble getting excited about what I have already achieved.
So, while not hating on myself, I'm not exactly celebrating myself either. It's making me feel uncomfortable in my relationship because my drive is so low and I just feel so disconnected, rather than in-tune with my body.
I wish I could just say "I feel fat today" because that's easier to deal with, since we all get that. Today, though, it's more like... I feel disengaged. I was 210 lb Sarah...now I am looking toward 130 lb Sarah...but how do I enjoy being 174 lb Sarah? It's almost like I don't want to get comfortable in this body because it's not the one I want yet.
So...yup. Feeling blue. Nothing earth-shattering but still blue. Thanks for reading