I'm so sorry that you're going through this!
But I think you've gotten some really amazing advice from everyone.
Unfortunately I know how you feel. Sometimes I go along doing really well, without a binge for weeks, and then all of a sudden, BAM! I eat everything in sight (including things I don't even really like, it's SO BIZZARE). It feels like I am rebelling against myself, if that makes any sense. The latest cycle of this I went though lasted almost 2 weeks, it was terrible.....and it's no way to live.
But all the great advice and support you can get here will definitely help you, it's helped me and I've only been a member for about a week! You can do it, you just have to believe that it
is possible.
I think that sometimes when we want something, we try for it superficially, but in the back of our minds we don't really BELIEVE that it's ever going to happen. That will sabotage you every time.....it does me, anyway. If you feel hopeless, you're going to act hopeless. So believe in yourself! I suggest you check out the "goals" thread....it's very motivational.
Wish you all the best!!!
A.W.