Too Fat for High Heels?

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  • I love shoes, closed toe pumps in particular, skinny heels
    However, i am a big girl
    my husband says i am too fat for high heels!!!
    Girls, can a woman be too fat for high heels?
    I stand in them alot for work and usually they hold good
    Its the only part of me that i feel i can control and be sexy
    DO you have to be under 200lbs to wear heels?
    Let me know what you think, your experiences, and reactions!
  • how high are the heels you wear? Can you go on an escalator?
  • Your husband is a braver (ruder?) man than mine. Hope that opinion was solicited and not volunteered out of the blue.
    I don't think 200 is too heavy for heels and wouldn't put some arbitrary weight limit on it. If you like heels and feel confident in them, I say wear em'. I was/am thisclose to 200 and I dare say, still look hot in heels. No matter what my weight they can have my Fluevogs when they pry them off my cold dead feet!

    - Plus they make you look taller, leaner and make your calves look more muscular.
  • I was fine in 3" heels at 250. We're talking being able to dance for hours fine.
  • Frankly, he's not the one wearing the heels so he shouldn't have an opinion on who is or who isn't "too big" to wear them. If a woman can wear them comfortably and isn't in pain, and she likes them, it doesn't matter how big she is. I -love- heels, but unfortunately ever since I hit 200 pounds, I haven't been able to wear them because I'm too heavy. I can last maybe 10 minutes, before I am crippled with burning pain in the balls of my feet. Even short "kitten" heels and wedges cause me pain. It is one of my goals, and dreams, is to be thin enough to comfortably wear heels again. The last time I was really able to was at my high school graduation, nearly 10 years ago
  • I do think there is a weight limit on heels however if you feel great in them then do you.
  • I know women under 200 lbs who complaing about wearing heels. I think it's more a factor of age and the condition of one's feet. I weigh a heck of a lot more than 200 and I love to wear my heels, but I'm wise about which ones I wear. And I do a lot of foot exercises too. I have plantar fasciitis that I developed wearing flats. so wearing a bit of a heel helps me.
  • geoblewis - any tips for types of shoes you recommend? At 286lbs in heels you are an inspiration girl! Also my boss complains about the damage i cause to the floors and carpet, i can tell people are snickering at me thinking what am i doing!
    I do have trouble finding strong fashionable heels however, at my weight they seem to break easier and just loose shape, the heel cap is always a problem - often i have to wear them in to feel comfort
    Nicole, what type of shoes did you have - what would you recommend, pics would be great!
    Maybe next time i should stand on my husband's foot by mistake! that will teach him! lol
  • I think there can be a point where a person's weight PREVENTS them from wearing heels safely and comfortably, but that there is no magic number. If you don't have trouble walking in them, and your feet don't hurt, then you're not "too fat" for heels.

    But that advice applies to everyone whether they weigh 85 lbs or 800. If you can wear them without hurting yourself, then wear what makes you feel good.

    I haven't been able to wear heels for a very long time, but the minute I can do so comfortably (even if I have to be in a wheelchair to do it), I will wear them when I want to.

    I think the bigger issue is why your husband is saying this. Is he a "nitpicker" in general? Is he just an opinionated jack***? Or is he normally a considerate guy who has a few strong opinions on a very small number of issues? Is he controlling? Does he tell you often what you should or shouldn't wear and do? Does he bring your weight up as a criticism often? Is he concerned because he sees you in pain or having trouble walking?

    I have a husband who often IS an opinionated jack*** (he'll admit it openly), but even so I can't imagine him ever telling me that I'm too fat to do something. Maybe he's just a smart, opinionated jack*** or a jacka** with a sense of self-preservation.

    He will occasionally say something that doesn't come across the way he intended, so if he DID tell me I was "too fat" for something, I might let him live. However, if I was PMSing, I wouldn't guarantee his life would be safe.

    Now he does say things to me (and I say things to him) that others might think is terrible, because he and I are much more bluntly honest with each other than most people understand, so I'm not going to judge your relationship. For all I know he tells you that you're too fat for stuff, and you tell him he's too short or stupid for other stuff. Maybe you both say horrible things to one another, but this does seem weird to me.

    If he's concerned that you're going to injure yourself, he still should have kept "fat" out of the equation. My husband HATES me in animal print (I have to admit that when we met, I had an unnatural affection for it). He may even think I'm "too fat" for it, but he has the good sense not to bring my weight into the picture. I do welcome his input on my appearance (because I tend to neglect my appearance at times. I can get into "frumpy" mode too easily), so I don't mind if he tells me I do not look good in something. I don't even mind if he's not very tactful about it (because when they were handing out tact, my hubby was skipped over).

    If you're comfortable with your husband's comments, I'm not going to judge it, but I (personally) would want to know why he's saying this. My first thought is that he is uncomfortable with your being "sexy." Some men (and some women too) have been raised to believe that "fat girls" shouldn't try to look sexy.

    They've been taught to assume that fat + sexy = silly or fat + sexy = slutty.

    They're wrong. Fat + sexy just equals fat + sexy.

    Maybe your husband just doesn't want you looking sexy for anyone other than him. That doesn't make it right, especially for him to comment. Having an insecurity isn't a crime, but voicing it, and using it to control another person's behavior can cross the line. Only you can draw that line, but personally I think it does cross the line into jack***ery.
  • Reading that OP kinda made me sad, I would never imagine myself as being "too fat" for high heels. I've been wearing high heels for years now and can walk in them better than all of my normal/underweight friends. When I hit 60lbs lost last week, I bought my highest pair ever, topping out at 6 inches.

    If you can walk in them, and (even better) if they make you feel awesome, then don't listen to what anyone says.
  • I would say no except that heels are really painful at my weight.
  • laceycen, you are my new inspiration now!
    Thank you so much for giving me the confidence to walk tall and proud like yourself!
    Maybe we can swap style tips/pics!!
  • At 247 my highest I bought a pair of Betsy johnsons and my fiancé thought they were sexy and made my tooshy pop out and legs look nice so if you can stand to wear them then do so!
  • I wish I could wear them. With my weight gain, I no longer have the balance that I used to have, so am always afraid I am going to fall!! As far as there being a limit, uh no. Heels tend to make women look sexier and more put together, so rock on!
  • I wear heels and always did, I just made sure the heel was chunkier (if that makes any sense).

    I'd look ridiculous if I had on stilettos at my weight (then or now) but I feel like I carry myself better in heels than flats.

    I hope you find some shoes that you like and make you feel good. Please ignore your husband, I am hoping he was trying to be helpful. But we can help you better.