Wow. I haven't been on here in a couple of years. I guess I felt that once I hit my goal I didn't need support anymore. Boy was I wrong. I finally hit 160 lbs and it lasted for all of a day or two. I have let almost 40 lbs creep back on over the past two years. I am so disappointed. I am so frustrated that weight loss is so hard for me and weight gain is like breathing, it just happens. I have not been able to work out as hard as I once did and lets face it I like to eat. It makes me happy. I am in such a bad mood when I am constantly counting calories of what I eat. I compare myself to my skinny friends who can eat cupcakes with every meal and never workout. I put my winter jacket on the other day and I was lucky I could suck in enough to zip it. I had lost so much I have even had a tummy tuck to remove the excess skin and now I feel that I am just ruining it. I look in the mirror and see failure and struggle. My boyfriend says I am too negative and hard on myself. I know that I am, but I struggle to have the willpower and determination that I had at one time. I was in a bad marriage and escaping to the gym became my outlet. I no longer need that outlet and it is not as routine and hard care as it once was. My eating habits have also fluctuated. I jumped on the extremely low carb band wagon through a local doctor clinic and got down to 10 pounds of my goal, but it wasn't a lifestyle I could really maintain long term. So I gained that all back plus 10 pounds. So here I am lost in the weight world that I thought I had escaped. I feel disgusted at myself and just feel like I can barely look at my self in the mirror. I know I am preaching to the choir here. I found this forum to be soooo helpful on my previous weight loss journey that I am coming back to my roots and what worked for me at one time. Weight struggle is difficult and it consumes my thoughts everyday.

Welcome back! don't be so hard on yourself, You've caught yourself and are back on track. I can definitely relate. I lost about 40 pounds 5 years ago, and gained it all PLUS 20 on top of that. then last year I said ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. and I'm currently down 80 pounds. weight loss is hard! it is so EASY to gain weight back. I've accepted that it is going to be a constant struggle for me.

anyway, I'm rambling. welcome back again. You've done this once, you can do it again

Welcome back. I can totally relate to the surgery thing---two lipos and a boob job and you'd think I'd wanna maintain those results... But just like kisskiss, I had to come to the realization that weight and food, at least for me, is gonna be a lifetime issue. Most of my friends are just naturally thin. Never workout, eat what they want, and they're about as big around as my wrist. But that's not me. I'll always have to be vigilant. It's great that you caught this now and are heading back in the right direction. You've lost it before; you can do it again!

Thanks for the encouragement. It is so nice to hear others who have the same struggles as me. I need to just find that willpower again. I have some skinny clothes calling my name. I know they miss me as much as I miss them.