I've been going to the grocery store about 2-3x a week since June. There I always buy the foods I enjoy that matches up with the calorie range I want to stay in. I normally buy the same foods and I like it that way. Lately, everytime I go to check out there is a girl at the register that always makes comments about my food like " I knew you'd get that." or " You must really like that."
I just say a brief "yup" and pay for my food then I go. She acts like she's joking but I can tell deep down it bothers her. It just all seems so petty.

She's starting to really annoy me to be honest. I don't understand why she is so bothered by what I eat.

I thought about going through self checkout or to another store(out of my way) but then I thought to myself I'm not going to change what I do for someone else.

Any words of advice?

Tell her manager that you don't appreciate her commenting on your purchases. Or better yet, next time you're going through that store, ask for a different person to help you at the till and when asked why say that she's making rude comments.

Are you sure you're not reading intent into her words due to your own insecurities? I've worked a LOT of food and service jobs and I can tell you me and my coworkers never remembered customers' orders or preferences for any reason other than a conversation starter and generating familiarity.

Judgement would take way too much mental energy and honestly, few people care about us and our idiosyncrasies as much as we think they do. The fact that you'd hear this and be bothered by it is a bit of a red flag to me that it may be more you than her - you're the one taking inordinate notice, not the employee who sees you and your order regularly. Does that perspective make sense?

Sure, you could bring it up to the manager or tell her you'd rather she not comment on your purchases, but what harm is there in simply ignoring any insinuation and taking the interaction with a grain of salt and the benefit of the doubt given to the clerk? Then there is no harm, no ill feelings, and no confrontation. All because you choose not to make an issue where there may well be none.

yeah if she keeps making comments about my food choices, I will ask to talk to a manager and/or request a different person and explain why. That's a good idea. Or I'm also thinking about saying something sly to her, so hopefully she will back off and mind her own business.

Also, its not a insecurity of mine. I know the difference between a friendly, random comment and comments constantly made at me in a way that is making me feel annoyed and somewhat attacked. She has said this to me at least 3-4x already this month alone.

I have tried to ignore and let it be , but she hasn't stopped hence why I made thread.

I mean zero offense, as a caveat - it just seems like a lot of drama for something completely insignificant. Why not go to a different checker or store, rather than pitch a fit? Nobody can 'make' you feel anything - offense or 'being attacked' is something we choose to take on, as words like that have no inherent power beyond what we imbue them, ourselves.

Life's too short to get annoyed at people who mean absolutely nothing to you. I promise choosing to be serene rather than annoyed pays off so much more, especially when it still looks like your response to her is what is creating the aggravation you're feeling, rather than something inherent to the interaction, itself.

But I'm assuming this advice is falling on deaf ears. Otherwise this topic wouldn't even be discussed, because it would be a non-issue for you

I myself read a little bit more than I should, but if you say it was NOT a random comment, but a condescending/ill toned one, then it is.
I do want to say that you can always do comment cards, but instead of giving it to her manager, just give it to her after you're done paying (so she doesn't get in too much trouble) Just so SHE herself knows. She won't dare say anything next time I think. Unless she's just a mean person.

I just feel like people can be insensitive towards people's feelings in general; I have people comment on my choice of food ALL THE TIME! And it's kind of awkward! I don't know why they do it. You never know who you're talking to and what they're going through or their state of mind, so I always think it's best just to keep one's mouth shut.. haha. (work at target and a tutoring center...)
At the same time, maybe that's just her personality.

Dispite your ability to read the cashier's mind it doesn't sound like she is attacking you.

I'm trying to say the words "I know you'd get that" in a mean attacking way and I'm having real difficulty.

But sure - tell her manager. Then you can be assured that every employee in the place will be mocking you. (Silently of course)

Why are you getting upset?

As I said in my original post, I thought about going through self checkout or another store (which is out of my way) but I don't feel I should change what I do because for whatever reasons it bothers someone else. It may seem insignificant to you (especially as you are reading this through a message board) but in person(especially how its said and done) and to me, its not.

I made my post to vent and get advice.

It seems like you're more annoyed than anything else at this girl. Maybe she was just trying to be friendly but it came off the wrong way... next time she says something like that, try to say something more than a brief 'yup'. Say "YEAH these things are DELICIOUS, have you tried them?" Maybe you'll even get a conversation going. idk, going to the manager for something like this seems petty.

Oh boy, this is going to end up lengthy. Bear with me

Upset? Not in the slightest - someone's comments on the don't have any more power to upset me than some random checker's (ie: none at all if I don't let them!).

I gave you advice, it wasn't what you want to hear. I acknowledged that, but I still firmly believe you will be happiest in the long run learning to give everyone, but especially random strangers, the very highest benefit of the doubt regarding their intentions. Your upset and annoyance is in your control - that's a very empowering thing!

You can control your response and feelings, and use that to feel better about this and other future situations, if only you choose a generous, charitable emotional response toward comments that might otherwise rub you the wrong way. Strike up a conversation about how/why you love the food she's commenting on, or share a recipe tip while she's bagging your stuff. Feel happy that you're such a regular customer you are familiar to the staff and that they take time from THEIR job to chat a little with you. There are so many ways to turn this around as a positive, but you must be intentional about choosing that sort of response instead of defensiveness or criticism/offense.

This is entirely under your control, that is the point I'm trying to get across. If you can figure it out in something as incidental and unimportant as a throwaway comment from a random employee at a store, you can apply it to more important relationships and interactionsm to your own benefit. It's really an excellent skill to exercise and master (and makes one an imminently more cheerful person to be around, I speak from experience!).




Addressing your last comment - You're reading too much into my comments above, and the wrong thing, too. That has been exactly my point - meaning and intent is something YOU (or me, whoever the hearer is) assigns. We do this based on our own experiences, feelings, prejudices and preconceptions. Much of it is unconscious. But we still do it, and can unknowingly damage our interactions with many people in our lives due to our inability to give them the benefit of the doubt and not read more into their comments than what they are on their face (or choose to take a seemingly incendiary comment in good spirits). I'm a random woman on the Internet, not someone responding emotionally or seeking to bait or belittle you. The very best way to take my comments (and the spirit they are intended, by the way) is as a well meaning stranger trying to offer good advice for feeling better about a situation while not escalating it - win/win. If you look at it that way, instead of reading intent and responding reactively, the entire thread changes tone and becomes beneficial and friendly instead of hostile or defensive. No matter WHAT my or someone else's intent may be, would YOU not be happier assuming the best than the worst?

That's the advice I would hope you and anyone else in a similar position would take away from this. Exactly what I said, no reading into it necessary

I may look into a comment card or just say something directly to her. Yeah, some people are mean and take it out on others anyway they can. Who knows. Hopefully her passive agressive comments and other remarks as mentioned will cease.

I can't say anything about the cashier's tone of voice or attitude, no having heard/seen them, but just the words themselves (as written in the first post) don't seem aggressive to me. Clumsy and awkward at the most, but not aggressive. It sounds more like, say, the customer who always does the same old joke at the till to make small talk while the cashier's ringing his/her groceries—if you see what I mean. It may come as off, but it's not intended to hurt. A lot of people anyway don't even realize when they're being rude or intruding.

But I agree it depends on the tone. If it is said with some kind of eye-rolling, of pinched nose, any attitude that would imply disgust or scorn, then it different from just clumsy comments.

I like Artic Mama, and not to be rude towards you or anything, but I absolutely 100% agree with her that maybe you're just taking it in a way it wasn't meant to be taken. There is a food place that we go to eat around here and whenever we have Larissa, my favorite waitress, she always knows what we want. Also the waitress Cherri, she also knows what we want and if she see's us, she smiles, waves, gets our drinks put on the table, and then seats us after that's all done. As for larissa, not only does she remember my order, but she and i are friends on FB, and we talk often. Anyway, when someone remembers what you buy, it's probably because they see you often and you know what you like and you stick to it. There's nothing wrong with that. Why talk to her manager? She is probably doing it because she's trying to make conversation and she probably feels kind of special always having you in her check out line. If I were a cashier, and I had someone in my line so much that I remembered what they usually bought, i'd feel awesome that I knew what they bought, and i'd be kinda flattered that they always picked my line to go to. Anyway though, I think going to the manager about it is a little extreme and I highly doubt she meant any harm. I'd do the same thing if I had regulars. Not to be mean or make them feel bad, but to simply show that I have taken the time and effort to remember them

Maybe you should say to her 'why do you always comment on what I buy?' and she can tell you the reason. And if you said that she would probably feel embarrassed and stop commenting. In my opinion, I would not be offended by someone remembering what I bought but I guess I have not been there with you so I don't know exactly whether she says it in a hurtful way. I hope it gets resolved.

I definitely agree with the above when it comes to the tone of voice she says things.

When my friends and I go to our favorite ramen restaurant, it seems we've gone so often that one of the waitresses memorized my order! Once, I went with my family and we had that same waitress, and after ordering, she asked "You don't want the curry rice to go?" (There's a slight language barrier though, as English isn't her first language.) At first I thought, wow, how embarrassing! Is she commenting on my eating habits? Why does she act like she knows me? The thing is, her tone of voice could have been taken as rude, but I think it was more so the whole cultural difference kind of thing. Anyway, but then I kind of realized...hey! We love this place so much, and that we're regulars - so much so that she memorized my order.

I kind of learned from that incident, and now look at it as a positive thing if people know my orders and remember things about me. That's kind of how I view your situation, but again...I'm not in your shoes, and I do not know the whole story. I hope the situation gets resolved, but if the cashier honestly doesn't know what she's doing, I hope she doesn't get severely punished or anything!