My daughter is almost six, so this isn't really an issue yet, but I did want to talk about the diary/journal. When she asked for one that was private, I told her that I reserve the right to look at her diary any time I think there is a problem, but I will respect her privacy.
You better bet if something in her behavior set off alarm bells, I'd be reading that diary asap, so it was important for me to be upfront about that.