Hi! I am new here and found this site while wondering how i let my weight get out of hand .. Here is my story...
A couple years ago I was in the best shape of my life. I worked out everyday , ate healthy and weighed 120 lbs ( the most i have ever weighed was 130). I had been working for the same company for about 10 yrs and while it was a bad environment and really stressful i still managed. That is until they created a new position for and hired some guy i like to call Satan. This guy made my life a living ****. Stress was higher, hours were later and i became more and more exhausted. I found myself too tired to exercise or cook when i got home so opted for fast food and tv time instead. As months passed i gained more and more weight. this added to the continual stress and caused some depression when i could no longer fit into most of my clothes. I refused to buy bigger clothes because i felt that would be giving in and accepting my new size. I started wearing my stretchy yoga pants everyday and around the house tshirts since they were the only things i can fit into. I started to fear leaving the house because i was embarrassed of my size and the clothes i had to wear. Then i get word my landlord needs to move back into the the house i was renting so i had to move. 2 months after signing a new lease i find out the new guy ran the company into the ground and laid off the entire staff, including me. So now i was fat, jobless and saddled with a way higher rent than i would have signed on for had i known joblessness was immanent. I got rejected for unemployment and cannot find a job. I have been taking side jobs here and there and cannot for the life of me focus on them. Its like i can't think anymore. I feel like this giant stupid loser who can't do anything right. I am struggling bad and feel like i am drowning. I had to relocate this week due to my BF getting a new job. I do not know anyone here but we have an awesome new place and am hoping to use this as a spring board to get my life back on track. This week i started eating healthy again,started some light work outs and boy is my body sore! Watching myself in the mirror while exercising was a real eye opener. I refused to look at myself in the mirror since the weight gain. While i knew i had gained i just was in denial about it and in my head imagined i looked a lot better than i actually did. So today i weigh 150 lb. I think i can start fitting into some clothes if i hit the 135 -140 range so that is my current goal. I just needed to get this out of me so thanks for listening..