*pity party warning*

I sometimes figure why bother. I'm almost 40, my body is a train wreck and soon I will only look old in the face anyway. I feel like this is something I should've been doing 10 years ago and missed the boat.

I look at myself naked in the mirror and I am literally sad at what I see. I'm trying so hard and I still look like a flabby mess from my son that I had 9 years ago. I want to be thin so bad but I don't ever forsee it happening. I work full-time and raise my son alone, by the time I get home most nights I'm totally wiped out. I want to keep trying but still think I'm starting too late in the game.

I just don't see how my mid-section will ever look good again no matter what I do. How I long to be 25 and 127p again.

At least you have something to show for it--your son! Be proud of your age and don't try to be 27.

I had a similar pity party recently which is what prompted me to lose weight. However mine was because I'm almost 34 and it's beginning to look like I will never meet someone and have children. So I figured the least I can do is make the best of it by losing weight and looking as good as I can.

There are plenty of mid 40's women who have killer bodies. It doesn't happen overnight though. Time and consistancy.

Find three hours a week to lift weights.

Restrict your calories.

In a year you'll look like a different person.

Well, I'm 55 and I lost 50 pounds last year. I also joined a gym for the first time in my life. I didn't consider it too late at all and I feel really good about my body now. (I've had two kids.) From where I'm sitting you're a spring chicken. I'm pretty sure you'll feel a lot better once you get started.

Freelance

I'm 42 and I promise you, it IS NOT TOO LATE.

Do you want to get healthy and live to see your son grow up? What would it be like if you went early and he had to go through life alone? You aren't that far overweight and have a great shot at doing it!

Those are the same questions I asked myself and I am choosing to be on this Earth as long as I possibly can.

.

I feel your pain! I turned 40 last year (41 in a month & a half) and I've, quite frankly, been dealing with a mid-life crisis. HOWEVER, I turned it around and made it into something positive - I've lost 71 lbs over the last year (and still going strong) - I have a solid exercise program in place, a much much better diet, got off all my meds (anti-depressant, sleep aid and anti-anxiety med), I am seeing my friends a lot more (and reconnecting with friends that have fallen by the wayside), we're finally traveling again (something I've always loved but stopped doing because of my weight and general depression) and my marriage has improved a ton.

I still have a lot of moments where I mourn my 20's and 30's - I have regrets, absolutely. But now is the time of your life when you're mature, wise and have the tools to deal with it - so do it! Stop seeing the negative (I know this is difficult) and focus on all that you know, have learned and have experienced and make your 40's the best decade ever! It may sound hokey, but I am succeeding at something I failed at for 2 decades and I owe it all to my mid-life crisis.

Ok, you had the vent.

I see from your ticker you are 10 ish lbs from goal.

Ever consider "emotional price tagging?" Was that enough vent? Too much? Because we are all entitled to feel how we feel when we feel it. It's cool. It's totally normal to have a funk.

But choosing to dwell there, feeding the bad dog is no good either. When we stub our toe we shout "OW!" and give it its due. But we do not give it the same emotional price tag as we put forth when a loved one dies. (I know I am giving extreme examples to make a point.) We VISIT these funk places, but we do not want to live there!

So I'm hoping you feel better for the vent. And I'm cautioning you not to feed the bad dog too much. Ok, throw him a biscuit. But not too much feeding!

Start feeding the good dog now. Like this...

40? Pshaw. I'm 36 just a wee bit behind you! I am at the middley bit like you. But that's still 4 more decades to go, man! Maybe 5! My chinese grandma is 92 and getting a little wobbly so she has a cane now but still rootin' for the Lakers every season though she can't speak a word of english, still doing her tai chi, and still hitting Reno to play slots.

In opera gloves because she's got her foibles like any human and she's a bit germophobe in her 90's. But imagine -- an old chinese woman playing slots in satin opera gloves. That's got STYLE, dude. I hope to be that stylish even if not that germophobic at her age! LOL.

She goes "ok, I'm old and more delicate and can catch ill more easily than the young people.... but I wanna play slots! So I'm going! " She's not letting her age funks hold her back! She's rollin' with it!

Life is sweet, and it's not too late to invest in your body health so it keeps serving you well right up to the end! You can do it! Both the weight loss, and feeding to good dog, the one that pumps you up. Don't feed the bad one that brings you down.

No, you aren't 20 any more. Not 30. But nothing wrong with have the best 40's you can have! You go, girl! Grab that decade with brio!

GL!
A.

astrophe, your grandma rocks!! and what a fab post.

novangel, . You got the pity party out of the way..now is the cheering section for you!! Raising a son on your own and working full time is big and time consuming. But you HAVE to find even a half hour of 'you' time in there somewhere. It is NOT 'too late'. Starting to watch what you eat and fitting in a workout will make you feel so much better. And it is a very kewl feeling to be a hard-exercising woman in your 40's...or 50's..or 60's and beyond!!

think of what you have on your side..you're still technically in your 30's ... you are barely overweight for your height...just need to start working out with some cardio and some weights. Even if your tum is not like a 20 yr. old's, it will be tighter and it is great to feel ab muscles under there!

p.s. I'm 51..I work out 5 or 6 x's a week ... I ride my motorcycle 10,000 miles each season...I won a "Miss Rally 2011" contest last year...I'm not acting my age and I love it

<<I'm almost 34 and it's beginning to look like I will never meet someone and have children.>>

Aren't you jumping the gun a little? I met my husband at age 37 and had my kids at 39 and almost 41. You still have lots of time and options on your side.

Freelance

Thanks sooooooo much I was pretty much resigned to the fact that i'd be hot (after my weight loss journey)...but hot and single. I feel like guys in my dating age range (about 31-41 years old) are all looking for girls in their 20s. Your story gives me hope!

My life has improved so much since I turned 40. I feel more confident, no matter what my weight (and it's been all over the board in the last ten years), and I can do things (speak in public, network like a diva, write with panache) that I never seemed to manage with any finesse before I turned 40.

And, now, I get to turn 50 in a couple of months at my goal weight! My 40s were my best decade yet and I'm convinced that my 50s will be even better.

Maybe you need to look for the guys in their 20's.

By a weird fluke of a road race timing system bug one of my running buddies dated her now husband for almost a month before they figured out he was almost 12 years younger than her. By then they knew enough to know it didnt matter. (MTA - they both looked eachother up in the results after meeting in the race and the results had them both listed as 34 - along with a bunch of other people - So he knew she was older than him and she knew he was younger than her....they just didnt know HOW big the difference was until she started planning his 35th birthday ....uh....no that would be 29th. Neither of them had noticed their own age was wrong in the results)

Forget about a year, you'll feel like a different person in 2 weeks, and probably start to notice changes soon after that.

And if you can't find 3 hours, find 1.5. Or 1.

I'm about to turn 40, I've just taken up running and am planning a triathlon at the end of the summer. I have a client who is 96 and took up swimming a few years ago and is now in the Senior Olympics.

You are never too old!!

I agree with what most people said here, it's never too late. Let me just tell you something, I'm 25 and around the weight you mentioned and I often find myself sighing and wishing I was in my teens again (17-18 yrs old) and thinking how I should have done things differently, exercise, eat healthier, take care of my body in general. 10 years from now you'll look back on this moment and wish you started dieting and exercising. I know 40 years old women who look stunning and have more toned bodies than I do at my age, so do not for a moment imagine that your age is a setback. Start changing your life now and soon you'll begin to notice changes, not just in how your body looks like, but also in how you feel.

Hitting a new decade is always (somehow) kind of scary. And yet, really, what are we afraid of? The mourning of our "youth". Ahhhh, yes, that is the rock bottom of the problem.

I was OK with turning 40. Not over-joyed, mind you! - but OK. I weighed a little more than what you weigh now. Then at 42, I lost nearly 30 lbs and hit the gym like a professional "biggest loser" - I had a much better body/mind set at 42 than I had at 38.

Then at 44, I had a horrible illness & ended up gaining nearly 60 lb!!! And here I am now...I'll be 49 this year. *EGADS!!!!!* that means 50 next year!! I don't FEEL like I'm supposed to BE 50!!! I'm supposed to still be like... 32 or something! It has taken me two years to lose 37 lb. I still have 15 to go to meet my goal (& will then decide from there whether to try to go another 5 or 10 lb).

The point is, whether or not you're fat, skinny, trying to lose weight, losing weight, maintaining your weight, whatever! - those "decade" marker birthdays are hard for us. Even if I'm at goal weight (or beyond) when I turn 50, I know I already feel "old" and have started questioning my hairstyle (too long?), clothing choices (can a 50-yr-old still wear a skort?), should I upgrade my skin care routine (high-retail eye cream & a higher SPF?), and OMG, didn't I just color my hair like 2 weeks ago? Why is that gray already coming thru? and GASP! MENOPAUSE! -everything and I mean EVERYTHING is so ....DRY!...skin, hair, nails, etc. AND SUPER GASP!!!! -IS THAT TURKEY NECK I SEE???? Forget worrying about a swimsuit! - those turtleneck sweaters don't cut it in 95 degree heat of summer!! etc, etc etc.


The important thing to remember is that we all age. We cannot compare ourselves to our 20 yr old self when we're 40 or our 30 yr old self when we're 50, etc. We must live in the moment, take as good care of our health as possible, and just keep on "Keepin'On".

Don't sweat it sweetie! - you'll be fine!