Does anyone else worry that they're becoming vain or shallow, or obsessed with how you look?
I've lost almost 30 lbs since the end of September and even though, yes it's been hard, I have really really enjoyed the results. I've started shopping constantly (at Goodwill) because it really bugs me to have lost weight and still be wearing big baggy clothes that don't show off the loss. As a result of this, I've started caring again about having cute outfits, style, etc. Before my "style" = I can get it on my body. I'm paying more attention to my makeup and hair, and buying heels again.
I still have a little over 15 lbs to goal and I'm pretty sure I'll adjust my goal to a lower weight. My plan had been to hit 160 then see how I look and feel and go from there. Now that I know hitting goal is not just possible, that I DeFINITELY will do it, a voice is whispering in my head that I'd like to be a size 10.
I worry a little that i obsess so much over this. Without fail, the first thought I have every day is to wonder what the scale says. I'm celebrating my 5 lb increments and every time I hit one I am walking on air for days. I like to weigh first thing in the morning after doing "morning business", but I have to have coffee as soon as I wake up. Once I have the coffee, the "business" happens. I'm so obsessed that I begrudge drinking my 2 cups of coffee because I'd love to be able to weigh after eliminating but BEFORE my coffee because I know that it will be a lower weight. Rationally I know lbs lost is lbs lost and as long as I'm weighing at same time under same circumstances every day, I'm getting an accurate picture of my loss... but I sooo want the number to be as small as possible!
When I think about how much time of my day is spent thinking about my weight, or clothes, I worry that I'm being shallow and self absorbed. I also can't stop looking at mirrors. It's not pure vanity, I do still have a good bit to lose (at least 25-30 more lbs if I go for a size 10)- but I must admit I am finally at the point where I enjoy looking in the mirror and seeing what's NOT there. I have great supportive friends and I talk to them some about my loss, and they're great, but I really mentally edit because I am always afraid they're thinking "Geez, don't you ever think about anything ELSE?" But this is on my mind so much- how much better I look, how much better I feel, all the little NSVs and realizations.... I feel like I'll explode if I don't talk about it!
Anyone else feel like this? I'm so grateful to have this forum to post a lot of this stuff in, but I want a reality check- is it normal to have this on your mind as much as I do?