I dream of marrying my boyfriend - then I remember his over-intrusive parents and think "NO WAY in **** am I going to spend my life with him and his parents!"
We live in the same city as his parents - my parents live on the other side of the world.
His parents are involved in every single aspect of his life. He works hard and a lot. They buy his groceries, cook the food, wash all his clothes, iron his clothes, clean his apartment, wash his car, do his banking, do his mailing, make his doctor appointments, buy his furniture, repair, etc. He talks to them every single day on the phone, sometimes twice a day.
And then I come along 2 1/2 years ago. They are overbearing. They still do all of the above mentioned things, even though we live together.
I am fiercely independent. I have been on my own and away from my family since I was 19. I've traveled the world on my own and now live in a foreign country - through tons of hard work, I learned to speak fluent German to ensure my independence.
His parents make fun of me for not being "as clean" as they are. I also "don't iron". His mother constantly brings over super high calorie unhealthful food because she is worried I can't take care of her son. They have a key to the apartment and come over to deep-super clean it when we are gone for a day. His mother is obsessed with cleaning, really, it is sort of sad.
I rebelled this weekend - I said NO - they aren't coming over to my apartment and I'm not going with you to visit them. This makes me seem evil. I feel evil. In principle, they only want to help.
I know it sounds like a dream, like I'm being pampered. But really, there are SO many insinuations that I don't do a good enough job. I end up feeling very spiteful towards them. I have even ripped the dirty laundry out of her hands when she tried to take it home with her.
I can't say thank you anymore. I don't want their acts of kindness. I'm on the verge of moving into my own apartment to feel my independence again. The sucky thing is that my boyfriend is a wonderful person.
But, I just feel evil. I felt evil all weekend for saying I didn't want to see them this weekend. I think I would rather be alone than feel evil.
Has anyone else experienced this? His parents are SO extremely involved in every aspect of his life. I really have never been in such a situation and I don't know how to deal with it.