Hi all,
We're kind of stumped at the moment and I figured what better group to ask than those with kids and grandkids and lots of wisdom and experience for new ideas. Hope you don't mind!
My middle son is starting middle school tomorrow. In kindergarten, he had alopecia for the first time, a few patches on his head, which within 9 months had grown back in. He has had nothing since, until Jan/Feb this year, and this time was WAY worse. He probably lost 2/3 of his hair.
His teacher was
awesome, as was his class, and he was never teased, etc. For the last couple of months of school, he became less comfortable when it spread so quickly, so he wore a ballcap in and outside of class with his teacher's blessing.
Enter a new school and new rules -- they only allow ballcaps or beanies in the classroom and walking between classes if there is a doctor's note (only time hats are ok are in PE). I can't get an appt. with his dermatologist until Oct and they won't write a note without seeing him, but the principal and nurse were willing to work around that so he could start middle school without the worry of going hatless (his hair is starting to grow back in some areas but it's short and sparse still, and the band across the back of his head is still completley bare). Anyway, here's where we need assistance. When I met with the school nurse on Friday, she said that my son should have a "stock answer" for when he gets asked by other kids why he's wearing a hat in class, why he's allowed to, etc., because he'll be answering with it a lot. She wants just one phrase that he can say over and over, and she wants to know what it is as well, so that she can support him (his teachers have all been sent an e-mail and he's being given a card to carry with him so if any staff member questions him, he has that card as "permission"). While it would, of course, be easier in some ways to just deal with it and be hatless, that's a really tough one for an 11 year old! So I told him it was his choice (my stylist helped cut the hair he has on Saturday and it looks better and covers up some of the baldness, but not enough for him to want to ditch the cap yet).
While I'm leaning towards the camp of "I have alopecia" and keeping it truthful and simple, he's not sure he wants to use that and worries that will lead to more questions. We want something he can say and move on, and something that won't lead to teasing (as in, "my doctor told me to" which would lead to thinking something was "wrong", etc. as middle schoolers could do). I don't want something that could be deemed "smart alec" that could cause trouble either. He's a sweet kid with a lot of compassion and a lot of self-confidence, but this is definitely testing some of that.
If any of you can think of any possibilities, we are definitely open to hearing them. As of now, we have nothing he feels works for him and he needs to be ready tomorrow for his first day, which I want to be a positive experience (middle school is a tough enough transition from elementary!).
Thanks so much,