Hey ladies...
So I just had a thought tonight that never REALLY occurred to me consciously before...I have never in my life been in maintenance-mode. I have had weight issues from a very young age. I've never really known a portion of my life where I WASN'T trying to lose weight. Ever.
There have obviously been times in my life spent heavier, and lighter. But never once have I ever, ever been a weight where I thought "I want to stay here". I've always just wanted to keep losing. But then again, I've never been "thin" in my adult life either, so that's probably justification in why I never was satisfied.
Now I'm getting quite close to goal weight. I have NEVER been this thin in my life, and now that I'm so close to my initial goal of 110lbs, I realize that this isn't quite where I want to be. I would like to see what I look like at 105lbs now. Who knows how long it will take me to get there, but I'm being very patient with myself, because I lose weight slowly.
I guess I just can't imagine a day where I will stop trying to lose weight. I'm sure I will get there. It's just funny that I'm 32 years old, and I never thought that this journey would be so long...my first diet was when I was 9, lol.
I don't know if I should be sad at this. On the one hand...I've spent most of my life trying to lose weight. So much time and energy spent that could have been spent on other things? But I also know that I should be grateful that I've managed for the first time in my life to get this close to my ideal weight. Maybe this journey won't have to take me a lifetime...