I've heard my whole life that fat was gross, and I've always believed that. So since I was 12, I've hated and dieted myself to this weight. It wasn't until I was over 300 pounds that I decided I should start accepting all my fat and nooks and crannies and since then I've quit being so self-conscious about my fat. I used to think that losing weight would set me free from all these "rules for fat people" but I'm glad I've finally accepted that those rules are full of sh*t and I need to focus all that negative energy I used to feed myself and direct it to being positive and losing weight and being healthy.
I want to end my compulsive eating habits, I want to have enough energy to run and play softball and volleyball with my family when we go to the park, and I want to be thin enough so my wide hips can properly fit in a rollercoaster seat. I just don't want to fall into that whole self-hatred state of mind again. I'm just worrying that if I push myself too hard again, I'm going to start hating myself again, and I don't want that to happen!
Also, sorry if all this is very confusing, it's almost 5:30 in the morning and I haven't slept yet. I just wanted to know about peoples thoughts/advice on this type of stuff. Has anyone accepted themselves at their heavy weight?
Also also, by "rules for fat people" I mean things like having to wear a cardigan to cover up fat arms, not wearing bold patterns, wearing jeans when it's hot as **** out, ordering salad in front of all your skinny friends so you don't feel like a total fat butt and the like.