Coaches
So I
: got on the scale this morning *credit* and I saw a paltry rise in weight of 0.2lbs bringing me to 280.8 today.
I
felt like I was, oh, 295? 285 for sure... My sense of myself and my body are out of sync and have been out of sync for a good thirty years. I'm not kidding. I had dreams of returning to Ottawa for my art shows being visibly thinner. Alas it will have to do that I return with two pairs of fantastic linen pants bought in Key West that look very unlike what I normally would wear. I just need some nice top/blouse to set them off and a haircut. This is the best I can do since I won't magically be 20lb less. *credit for accepting reality and knowing I can still present myself well.
The landlord came and turned the air conditioner on yesterday. DH and I actually slept well last night. I almost turned the fan off too. I LOVE windows open though but keeping them closed to stay comfortable while I work is worth it, as is the sleeping part.
Back to the food. Today I feel that my food plan is obviously working as the weight isn't piling back on. I am maintaining an 11 lb loss from my most recent high weight.
I am poised at the brink of the 270's.
Nowhere for me to go but down.
It is a
fact, not a
feeling.
Thanks everyone for being here and for the words of comfort and encouragement. My feelings hijack me sometimes... and they are the MOST irrational when I am feeling my way around weight issues. Yikes. So hard... but don't we all know it?
to us all - posters and lurkers alike.
Lexxiss I can't count the number of times
taking to my bed has saved me from food. Taking on other people's feelings is a special talent I have so yeah, crabby people and powertrippers always throw me off emotionally. I never understand why people are mean - it always surprises and shocks me. (AND it surprises and shocks me that I am still so sensitive!) But, after many years, I can now sort out what is mine and what is theirs after the fact. I'm still smarting over that small jibe the Guild member took at me but really it just gives me the solid information to stay away from her. Too bad my food didn't treat me like that. It would be easier to stay away from it as well!
to you too.
pamatga *credit for continuing to find the best way for you to work out and to steadily keep your eye on the prize ie. your weight loss goals. It is hard to post here when you keep feeling like a failure. But really, what else are we to do? No one here is giving up and everyone here has been in our shoes in one way or another. Thanks for reminding us it's ok to be and to say where we are at. I admire your unrelenting attitude of moving forward. Big Credits there!
BillBlueEyes RESPONSES?? OMG like I totally forgot about that part of the Beck Solution!
Quote:
Responses like, I am moving along; I won't be distracted that the scale fluctuates just as emotions do. I continue moving along.
Yes, that is a helpful response. I will try to work out a few more to the "I don't cares" and the "this will never works".
Lassie always comes home... I await her arrival.
CeeJay for posting when feeling yukky and feeling sidetracked and
temporarily offplan. You know Ceejay, our New Normal is being onplan now. I suspect both you and I are more onplan than off. I think I will start to mark this down for myself, like Lexxiss mentioned in her last post being A+ OP in the day and then offplan at night. That A+ morning does mean something! I have had days, weeks, months when I was NEVER OP at all. That just doesn't happen anymore. I come back I post here I find the strength to work at it once again. You do too.
CREDIT
maryann This statement by you
Quote:
It is proven over and over, you don't have to want to do something. You just have to do it.
reminded me of a saying I heard ages ago : FEELINGS ARE NOT FACTS.
Wow. Can't believe my brain dug that up for me. Also, feeling something does not make it so. I discovered that today with the scale as I felt "so fat" but was up so little 0.2lbs that there's no way I could feel that small shift. I don't notice 20lb-40lb gains when I am in the food! Anyway thanks for your post and you are right; it is always work and always worth it. *credit for going to class when you didn't feel like it. Awesome.
Off to paint.
UPDATE
This one is for
Lexxiss. You asked for a sunflower a few days back and it ate away at me until I gave it a go. I really don't ever paint flowers. I do like this one though hope you do too
I did it today. Thanks for the inspiration.