Hey God......... its me Melissa,
Well I'm fat. Im about to be 28 this wednesday its been over ten years since Ive been trying to lose weight. Ive been on every crash diet you can think of, even had the lap band done. Had to have it taken out because it became infected. Ive been on depression medicine for 15 years and I feel out of hope about now. Im over 230 pounds and im only 5'3". Its hard to walk for to long everything hurts, my knees my ankles. I get short of breath easy I feel my heart will explode some days. My grandmother just turned 70 and she is in better condition than me. Its not a lack of trying. Its just everything I can do to get up and shower myself in the morning. Ive been on just about every deppression medicine you can think of. Right now im on pristiq and lamictal. I feel just hopeless........

Hi Missmeliss, I'm so sorry to hear about your depression. One great part about weightloss is that it can help with depression. Another great thing is that exercise is not required to lose weight.

Start by getting a journal or making a spreadsheet online. Write down everything you eat and calculate the calories. Each day lower your total number of calories and your body will start adjusting and seeing changes. This is a lot of work, but will also help provide a distraction to other worries you may have in life. Post here often too we're all here for you

Thank you I appreciate it! Theres nothing like a birthday to make you realize what you have and haven't accomplished yet!

I know what you mean! Happy early b-day by the way, have anything planned to celebrate? I started my weightloss journey shortly after my 30th birthday. I cried when I saw the pictures from my party. I didn't want to even leave the house, instead I said. Dammit, I'm going to do this and never be ashamed on another birthday ever again. This years party I was so much more happy.

Welcome, and I do sympathize.
I'm currently working my socks off and have gained 2lbs. My depression, usually a general greyness with deep dark patches in the winter, has taken a serious nosedive and I just want to curl up in a ball and cease. It's so bad that, when I went to see my doctor yesterday about a foot-related issue, and told her how bad things had got, she freed up a double appointment for me this Thursday! If you knew how hard it was to get a doctor's appointment in the UK, you'd be amazed! The foot appointment, I had to wait 2 weeks for. Maybe you'll let me compare meds notes when I get back? I'm not on any, and haven't been since the days when Prozac and Seroxat were first brought out (they didn't help).

I can only speak for me but one thing that does help is a cerain amount of taking of control and planning. If I can even plan to do one small thing each day and achieve it, I find it begins to help. I'm talking to myself now, because, like I said, all I want to do is curl up.

Got to go - got to take the dog to the vet but I'll look back later and see how you're going on.

Hi Meliss aaw I feel bad for you I know how that feels I just wanted to give some advice since I have been trying to lose weight so long I recently turned 30 and could never figure out a way to lose weight that worked for me so I just wanted to share what has worked for me maybe it will help you too.

It may sound dumb to some people but I found eating a diet of mostly whole foods like vegetables fruit lean meats like chicken and fish and trying to avoid carbs as much as possible and packaged food really is working for me. I know it might sound obvious to most people but I grew up in a house where my parents never bought veggies or fruits barely except like a bag of frozen and all we ate was packaged foods packaged food makes you fat!!!! Can not stress that enough it's way too hard to watch your calories eating only packaged food also you can barely eat anything and will be starving and eventually just give up and binge.

What works really well for me is I make one big salad a day any veggies I want in it then I choose some protein either chicken or boiled egg sometimes I do even a little shredded cheese but skip that mostly but it is alright if that is what you really like or what will get u to eat a salad. You can flavor the chicken lots of diff ways to make your salads good and I usually use light ranch dressing cuz that's what I like but really I would just have any kind of dressing trying to stay with lights though if possible but whatever gets you to eat a salad really.

then later in the day I'll have one thing with carbs but only good carbs like ezekiel bread or an ak mak cracker with tuna on it or something try to add alot of veggies to that meal also so it fills you up or just have more meat and veggies and skip the carbs all together for the day

then for snacks I just do fruit or string cheese boiled egg choose one of those for a snack

the big salad in the day really fills me up and keeps me not hungry for a really long time oh also I will have egg whites for breakfast sometimes with veggies and meat but I mostly eat only those 2 times a day and then snack on something small if I get hungry anymore and it works really good for me maybe give it a try.

Eat whatever you like there are lots of options just choose only veggies fruit meat some dairy and cheese unless you dont like it leave the packaged crap at the store unless itslike some kind of good flavored meat for your salad or something like that

oh also crab meat with cocktail sauce is a good snack also low calorie and I like it. But decide what you like best and works for you it is not hopeless just know that I started at 380 and I was ready to just give up and waiting to die I wish I would of know what I know now sooner.

Oh also losing weight is mostly what you eat if you cant exercise right now at your weight just watch your eating like I said above and you will still lose dont have candy or chips or anything like that try to cut out snacking.

Ok sorry I'm sure this sounds all jumbled but its really late 5am for me I hope this helps you if you have any questions feel free to IM me. You can do it girl don't give up we are here for ya

Oh one more thing I had to change my thinking also just know when losing weight you are going to mess up on your diet like alot of times you just cant ever give up and when you do mess up dont wait till next month to restart your diet take your diet day by day after you mess up just say ok and start again at the next meal or the next day if it's late its really like an ongoing fight with yourself you can't stop you will mess up alot you just have to forgive yourself and just keep up doing good most of the time and you will lose.

Try to drink a gallon of water a day also or at least 3 quarts it really helps with keeping cravings away as well as helping you lose weight

Thaks everybody I really apreciate your support. I guess it doesn't help that I got fired for the first time in March this year and still havent found a job, and my bestfriend of 20 years mother just passed away last sunday, so I feel like Im being put to the test. I guess I'm an emotional eater. I get sad or stressed or depressed and I think "I giant pizza sounds good right now" or "a bowl of ice cream sounds good" And not just a slice like three or four slices followed by feeling miserable and laying down on my bed being mad and upset with myself that I gave in yet again. I keep telling myself this time will be different this time im going to not give in and be strong and change my habits and sometimes I do....for alittle while then I revert back to the same old vicious cycle of self punishment. Ive been to therapists, even a food therapist who talks to you about your relationship with food. that was a waste of time and money. He kept telling me things I already knew. I know how to eat right...I just dont know how to do it...does that make any sense to anyone...?

Oh missmeliss, that makes such perfect sense. I've been told that I must be a expert at dieting. It seemed that I knew it all. But knowing all I did couldn't help me because I didn't know how to do it. Yes, I too hope that makes sense.

I'm 53 and I've suffered from depression my entire life. It's just something I accept and know I will always have. I take citalopram and it seems to help better than about any other medication I've taken and I've taken many. Basically I have found that when something good happens in my life I feel a whole lot better, forget about depression, and when life constantly kicks me in the rear, I sink deeper into my depression. Unfortunately I feel life kicks me in the rear more often than not this day and time.

Welcome! I've just come back here, again. I'm just trying to go simple this time and simply count calories. I wish you luck and hope that as you lose weight, your depression lifts and this brings you happiness.

going2bskinny - I just wanted you to know that sometimes when you make a post to someone to help them, that you can also be helping a great many other people. Your post to missmeliss I found to be so helpful and full of great tips. And seeing that you have lost so much weight makes me feel confident that it can help me too. Thanks for such a great post.

Hi Missmellis I just wanted to say Happy Birthday!!!

Happy Birthday Meliss!! Hope you are having fun and doing good today!

I am an emotional eater as well and have very bad depression, when my depression kicks in I will eat a whole pizza or a whole bag of chips or eat bad fast food sometimes I screw up for a whole week or a whole month and gain back some weight everyone messes up there is no way to be perfect on a diet. Some maybe can but most can't especially those that eat for emotional issues. Just forgiving yourself and realizing you aren't going to do perfect on your diet is the real secret to losing weight just don't give up and fight to keep eating good for as long as you can take it one meal at a time and say I'm going to eat good this meal then the next and the next it's easier for me if I just try not to think about it too much and just whenever I am hungry make sure I eat something good for me instead of something bad. And be sure to drink your water I have noticed if I don't I get ravenous for eating everything in the house it really really helps with cravings.

Also another tip of something that really helps me is you really should find healthy alternatives to your trigger foods and search for healthy good recipes online that look good to you so you get some ideas of good foods you can eat on your diet. Like pizza and chips are very big binge trigger foods for me so find a healthier alternative to them so you can still enjoy those things but stay good on your diet.

For pizza you can make your own tortilla pizza instead of buying a big pizza from the store and baking it and then end up eating the whole thing. Try to get a low carb tortilla wrap then just put any kind of sauce on it like pizza sauce or pesto or even a white sauce then load it up with lots of veggies and just have a veggie one or add a meat to it like some chicken or even a little bit of pepperoni if thats what you like then add your fave cheese just go a little light on the cheese but put enough so it's still good. Make your pizza anyway you want! And the good part is you can eat the whole thing and not feel bad. It tastes really good too the tortilla gets really crunchy just like a thin crust pizza.

http://en.petitchef.com/recipes/tort...by-fid-1257595

If you want to cut out carbs all together some people use a portabella mushroom and scoop out the insides then fill it with your pizza toppings and eat it that way.

http://www.leftoverqueen.com/2007/05...tabella-pizzas

Some make pizza crust out of cauliflower even like this recipe http://blog.yourlighterside.com/2009...uliflower.html

I personally think the tortillas are the easiest way to do it and less work but just added those recipes I found for you maybe they will help.

Also for your salads make them all kinds of different good ways you can do a taco salad just skip the shells or I even do a buffalo wing salad that is really good if you like or crave hot wings sometimes I buy a bag of these http://hannaford.gsnrecipes.com/GetI...lo8jdaqitFi03g and bake 3 of them they are only 150 calories for 3 then I make my salad with lots of veggies whatever you like use my light ranch sauce and add a little bit of this sauce http://www.quarrygirl.com/wp-content...ot-570x471.jpg don't need much it's really strong and I have a hot wing salad it tastes really good like you are cheating but it's very low calorie and I still lose very good eating this way.

Stuffed peppers are also really good on a diet they keep you eating a good portion size and I make them ahead of time and freeze them then its like a easy frozen dinner you can just pull out and bake when you are ready to eat it.

I also make jalapeno poppers that are good you just buy those large jalapenos from the store cut them in half scrape out the seeds and spread some whipped cream cheese in them and bake them at 350 for like 10 mins just watch em till the cream gets a little brown at the top only fill it level with the jalapeno edges cuz it bubbles up a little when you bake it. Those are very good for snacking on I usually grab 2 or 3 halfs and it satisfies me or I have a couple on the side of my salad I really like them.

Sorry for the long post again just trying to give you ideas it is very hard to know what to eat on a diet but you get better at it as you stick to it and just make up different ways of cooking things and take some time looking up great alternative diet recipes there are lots of great sites out there now with tons of great diet recipes for whole foods or low carb even youtube has lots of great recipes. Vegetarian sites have lots of great ideas also. Also experiment with your own substitutes for things. You can do it Meliss happy birthday again! Don't give up because you know you won't do perfect on your diet that is a given you will mess up just accept that and get started. It's not hopeless

Oh also if you crave chips like I do find a healthier chip I try not to buy any kind with flavor on them because I will eat the whole bag not to say that I don't still mess up sometimes and give in and buy one and eat it because I do but a good alternative I like are these chips http://smooregasbord.files.wordpress...ggie-chips.jpg and then I make my own salsa or just have a little store bought salsa I like to make my own so there is lower salt in it.

I also like roasted seaweed snacks from trader joe http://deargluten.com/wp-content/upl...1/IMG_1859.JPG those are very low calorie and cure a chip craving for me sometimes! If you have a trader joes around you also try to shop there if you can they really cut out the chemicals and make their food more healthy. Lots of great buys there for sticking to your diet!

Thanks JustMary Hope this helps someone too I'm happy it helped you!

Also one more thing I want to add since you said you like ice cream when you get depressed try freezing a banana then blend it in a food processor it becomes the consistency of ice cream and its really good as an alternative for that I made that once and then blended up some fresh strawberries as a topping it was really good. You could add whatever you like to it though like maybe some unsweetened cocoa powder for a chocolate taste. I found that on you tube do some searching on there for great recipes and even on this site check the recipes section there are lots of great alternative ideas people have shared.

Thank You !!!! U guys are such great motivation and help! Starting to feel hopefull, I think Im gonna keep it simple and watch my calories and try drinking more tea and water. And just plain moving more (even if it hurts alittle) Im going to do this this time.......I think I might even post an embarassing picture to get me motivated as a starting point. thank for all of the support guys!