Happy Belated Mother's Day! I hope that it was a good one for all. Also, wife2abadge.
For Mother's Day, I purposely decided that I was going to do most of my day in spiritual exercises; the same ones that I have been doing for the past several months.
Believe it or not, but the stress I am feeling is exercising my resistance muscle so much. Yikes! I am really feeling stressed out by the choices that I have been making these past couple of days regarding my food plan but I am dead ON PLAN! I have really wanted to eat everything but what I have actually planned and what I have actually eaten. I just could feel the amount of self-control that it takes to do this No Matter What and, wow, is right!
"No Choice" is not for wimps. Since I have had such horrible sleep I asked my DH to fetch some favorite "OP" foods for me yesterday which I also enjoyed today. I have managed to stay around 1800 calories, no added sugar, no empty calories and all the good things Mother Nature provides for us if we would only take the time to eat it.
DH had walked for 10 miles so he gobbled down 4 Kit Kat bars while I was working my Day's lesson "Counter the Unfairness". I didn't feel resentful or even think "Unfair". However, I will say that I could really smell the chocolate from where I was sitting. Instead, I happily ate my cut up ripe watermelon; juicy, red and delicious. Reminds me of the fable about the man who was thirsty but was bound and gagged. Only a sip please, he said. I swear I am going through some kind of de-tox here.
Today, I cancelled our Mother's Day plans to include eating out. I have done this a lot lately. I have told my DH that I don't want to go out to eat unless I feel well enough to thoroughly enjoy the food and the experience. Instead, I made us turkey bacon BLTS along with 1 rounded TB each of potato salad and cold deli beans with fresh strawberries for dessert. It was a delicious meal but psychologically, I could feel myself wanting something "undefined" more.
My adult son called me only to end up talking about himself for nearly 2 hours. Since we had an estranged relationship for many years, I am always glad when he now feels comfortable talking to me but half way through the middle I realized that, although this is Mother's Day, who exactly is noticing? So, I did my best to "relax" and say "Oh, Well!"
I really like the part of Counter the Unfairness by focusing on all the advantages you have that others don't. I look around at this group and I see such a bright, talented, capable bunch of people and I think so why can't we slay this ugly dragon, called Food Addiction/Obsession? The more I read this (pink) book, the more I realize how much my mind was standing in the way of a very long held dream/goal/acheivement! I need a trim please on my "Fat Head".
Well, gardenerjoy, I fully understand your surprise at discovering you will need to change your food plan. In the pink book, Dr. Beck remarks that we need to have a start up and then a back up food plan. I discovered the same thing when I did the South Beach Diet for a couple of years. Yes, I needed to eat low fat/no sugar and low carb but I also needed to count calories. I found out you can maintain an unhealthy weight eating quite healthy. Now, that is a stumper.
Besides, eating less I am also finding that I need to cut out the crap in my food plan as well. That is a C-food too. Crap! The stuff I eat when I want just "one bite, one little piece, just this time...". Those one little bites made the big woman I am today.
There would have been a time when I would have said "No Way" instead of "No Choice" because I didn't want to take it that far. I would have said, "You're nuts. That's too extreme. No one can live that way You don't want to become like one of those people." Well, yes, I do.
Well, my resistance muscle has certainly gotten a work out these past couple of days but I have resigned myself that if I have to do this (and maybe even more) then I am going to tough it out the best that I can. It might even get harder before it gets easier but right now I am willing to do what it takes to get all this extra weight off. No ifs, ands, or buts.