Does anyone here get panic attacks?
I don't get them so bad that I am unable to function. But I have been getting them lately and it is very unnerving. I always got them while pregnate, so I blamed hormones. Occasionally I would get them turning left against traffic. But lately it is about family, cars, morgage loans, housing issues, bills or no bills, money or no money... UGH!
It started last night after I got home from Reno. The loan guy called and needed a copy of my bank account with X amount in it. Well, I have spent a tidbit of it. Paid back family ect. Xmas shopping. A drop in the bucket. Thankfully I also deposited some $ in the account, so the bank balence said the right amount. Then he called and asked why the auto deposit of x amount ea month. Well, I had been paying my credit cards thru consumer credit, so I could get out of debt. (I of course start worrying, because I read in the money section of the paper that if you use these orgs, no loans will be giving to you esp home loans). Then he wants copies of my cc statements. Well, they are lower that they say but we will over pay and wait for the differences. I try to go online and get my bank statement and the printer breaks. Not my printer mind you. The detergent bottle breaks. It froze the brittle plastic. The tenants aren't out of the house. They ask if they can rent my step moms house. The one that her friends are in. But they are there till after the first. I want in my house before the first. My car window won't roll down in back. I have to go to the dealer in Reno to fix. I went to the po box and there is a bill I shouldn't have to pay in there i wrote to them 4 times stating it is an error, But it was sent to the collection agency. I am too tired to fight it and I may just go sent them the stupid 80$$$.
Anyways...nothing is that big of a deal but I feel like I am be buried alive in stuff I have no control over. I feel like I have the shakes and no shakes are here. Does anyone understand? And how in the world do I feel like I am in control again??? I suppose being month 4 in someone elses house is getting to me. I wish all the paperwork was done and my life wasn't being run by someone else!!!! I wish I could have more of a carefree attitude. If I had a car today I would go to the park or something... But won't be able to go anywhere for 3 more hours and then it is off to the insurance co, the school to pick up the cookie dough order, the dmv, the bank, post office and then home to make dinner. I hate waiting. I am always waiting for someone else. UGGHHH! Thanks for listening. I feel a little better. If I smoked, I am sure I would be out of cigarrettes today! ~flower