I have to agree with Shmead. Men ARE from Mars and clam up when their attempts at supporting have been met with anger, resentment or redirection. You've said you have done the diet thing and failed several times in the past. Sounds like he has chosen to take the 5th as he likely feels you blame him in part for falling off the diets in the past? Be silent and go forth with this on your own! You are finding too many excuses to fail. You are the key and only you can break your failure cycle. I'm fairly certain once your hubby sees this new independent focus and your growing confidence, he will be your number one fan! YOU CAN DO THIS!!!

Where is ANYONE reading that I don't think I can do this without my husband's support? Where have I said, "if he can't support me, I can't go on with it?"

And I've tried to lose weight TWICE in 18 years and really only once, 12 years ago was it an all out try. I've yo-yoed a wee bit because I lose weight when pregnant, so my weight has been up and donw a couple more times because of that, but I think people are ready WAY more into what I said.

I know this is my journey and my journey alone. I've known he's wanted me to lose weight all 18 years of our marriage, but all his 'desire' in the world wasn't enough to get me to the point to do it. Of course, it's totally an inside thing that has to finally click all in place to do it. And I thought I clearly stated that, but apparently I did not.

This is MY journey. I simply want him to be along with me in the ride, smiling at me and cheering ALONG WITH ME. Just as I am whenever he attempts anything.

Dear berry:
I used to put everyone first: my husband and my daughter, that's why I gained 50 pounds. But then I thought: lose weight has to be for me, my health, and live long for my beautiful 5 year old girl (with autism).
I love my husband but i don't care what he thinks or if he is supportive or not. We must learn to love ourselves first to be able to love others.
(i hope i wrote this right 'cause my english in not perfect)

Good Luck

And it's the same for me - if we all need a shower before getting out the door. Guess who's the least likely to get a shower? I've always put myself last. That now includes behind my mother in law and that is also the last straw that put me in the "wait a minute, what about me???? state of thinking". She's soooooo self-centered and thinks nothing of taking advantage of others... So, I started to rethink all of this.

It is MY turn. I'm 41 years old and not getting any younger. And I think by putting myself, maybe not to the tip top as I have two kids, but CLOSER to the top of priorities, they will appreciate me more. Of coruse, i want them to be proud of me! I want my husband to feel he has a beautiful wife and my kids to think I'm not an embarrassment.

I don't see anything wrong, needy, or dependent with wanting your husband, your partner in life, to support you through weight loss or anything else by showing confidence in your ability to be successful with plenty of compliments and loving gestures. Isn't that a big part of marriage no matter what the journey is?

YES!!!! Thank you. My husband and I are partners - through and through and while he has his things and I have mine, my health affects him as his affects me. So, having his support benefits him too. Like, if I haven't had a chance to exercise yet, taking over bedtime rituals so I can get it done. That's showing support. If I come up from a workout and announce I've walked 6.3 miles, say "way to go!" or "wow!" Not just look my way and nod and then continue on with whatever you were doing. But as I said, he's coming around. I think he can see I'm serious. He has stopped asking if I want a glass of wine with dinner (as I keep saying I can't have it). And so on.

But I'm a bit shocked at the number of married folks saying I shouldn't expect that kind of partnership and support. It's not dependence, it's friendship!

My husband is the silent type. He supports my weightloss his own way, and sometimes he even says "you are eating that?" -- I know he means well. Men can be such buttheads at times.

He actually "paid" me a compliment today; Wow you almost have a waist-line. -- Someone may take those as negative comments. But he is who he is, and I need to read between the lines

I saw him checking me out today. It has not happened in a long time. it gave me a good feeling inside. He did not need to say anything encouraging. The look told it all.

So keep an eye on your hubby

That is such a funny back sided compliment. But then, you know your husband and how he is. That's just well....laughable!

Isn't it? Early on I used to get so mad at him...lol

Hey i asked in a different thread where your husband is from? -- Just curious, because I grew up in Finland.

In a partnership and friend ship you always let them know what you need. They should try to provide for that need.

Have you told him what you want/need yet?