Angry at Myself

  • Hi Everyone,

    I really really really need some help right now. I honestly thought I could handle having my children's Halloween candy in the house because I don't like sugar. Halloween night I told myself I'd have only 2 pieces and count the points, suddenly 2 turned into 2 per day and about an hour ago I went way overboard. I'm not even sure it's the candy because ever since I hit the 100's, I haven't been as strict as I was before. I've been having binges weekly and I actually thought about driving to both Taco Bell and Burger King AFTER I ate what I did and feeling so nauseated I could yarf all over! This is the behavior that landed me at 267lbs in the first place and I don't know why in the **** I'm slowly going back to my old ways.

    I talked to my husband about this because he wasn't home when I went on the binge and he said maybe I'm under too much stress trying to take care of our 3 children, the house, cooking, etc all while I'm going to school. To top it all off we are leaving tomorrow for the weekend and staying at the Embassy Suites for a hockey tournament. The good thing is there's a gym, the bad thing is I have no clue what I'm going to do about the food situation. Also, the parents like to drink and made over a dozen trays of Jello Shots. I'd like to have a couple but know if I do a couple will turn into a dozen...

    Sorry this post was so long, I just feel like I'm at the end of my rope and am desperate for help or advice right now.
  • First Lots and lots of

    Now. Forgive yourself for being human - we all are, which means that we're not perfect and sometimes we slip up. The good news is that you've recognized that you're going down a path you don't want to be on again and you have the ability to change the direction of where you're going! You can do this!

    Stress stinks and it sounds like you've got more than your share. Maybe some extra exercise or something else to pamper yourself (hot bath, a quiet moment with a book or whatever you enjoy) will help diffuse the stress and give you another direction besides food.

    As for the weekend...social food situations are tough and when you're feeling less than strong it's downright sucky but you CAN do this. If you know you can't handle the jello shots without overindulging then it's probably best to avoid them altogether. Food might also be a bit tricky but just make the best decisions you can with the food available to you and you'll be fine!
  • It happens. Stress does crazy things. I think it makes a bunch of us "eat our feelings". Just take a deep breath, and remember how far you have come. You recognize the issue and what you are doing, so just do it a minute at a time if you have to.

    But have fun on your trip! Worst case scenario, you eat and drink more than you should, and you get back on it on Monday (or when you get back). I think it is always important to remember that LIFE happens. We cannot stop living and doing things we like to do because we are afraid of what we put in our mouths. I think (that for me personally anyway) my weight is not because of WHAT I put in my mouth, but WHY I put it there. So as long as I can eat for the right reasons, I can go "off plan" for a day or so and be ok with that.
  • Jsut think of it as a temporary set back. You will get back on track in no time. I would take some healthy snacks for the trip to eat in between meals, that way if you splurge at a meal or the shots the end result might not be so bad. Remember to drink lots of water to combat the alcohol that might help.

    I took left over candy and some of my kids candy to a childrens home. They were extremly greatful for the donation.

    amym
  • Dont' be so hard on yourself! Enjoy your weekend and get back to the nitty gritty when you get back. Stressing yourself out about everything will make you binge even more.
  • Thanks so much for all of your replies, they really helped me get through the emotional meltdown I was having. I went to my weigh in and was happy to see I had lost 1.8lbs and also received my 75lb charm. I've lost 76.2lbs total and I am more confident today than I was last night.

    My family and I just arrived at the hotel and I still have to figure out what I'm going to eat. I'm starving right now and am not sure I want to go to the restaurant downstairs. There is a Bob Evan's up the street so I may take my kiddos and go there while my husband is at the rink for the first game.

    I checked out the pool and workout room when I got here and am going to use both to get my through the weekend.
  • it could be too that you are really proud of the progress you've made and you are feeling really good in your skin now. i know when i was losing last year (before i got pregnant), i would look in the mirror and be satisfied and then because of that confidence i would feel better about eating pizza or something and having too much.
    congratulations on your 75lb loss! that's awesome, you can do it the rest of the way!!
  • I spoke to my leader today and we both think that's the issue behind my binges. I look in the mirror and feel really comfortable so I'm being a bit careless when it comes to what I put in my mouth!

    Thanks so much Jess =)
  • Quote: Dont' be so hard on yourself! Enjoy your weekend and get back to the nitty gritty when you get back. Stressing yourself out about everything will make you binge even more.

    Thanks so much! I decided when I got here that I was NOT going to let this ruin my weekend of fun and relaxation. I'm just going to make sure to get to the gym here for at least an hour per day, that was I won't feel as guilty if I go over my points.
  • i'm glad i was able to help somehow! i have struggled with that at times too. i lose 15lbs and i feel so proud and stand up taller, look great in what i'm wearing and then i will [not thinking about it] eat more. but i've realized that it's such a slippery slope, because i wasn't at the weight i wanted to be at. i was at that point where another 10lbs gain would make me not like how i looked again. i may be comfortable at 170 or something, but really hate 180. i don't like being at the weight where if i gain just 10 lbs it makes me look big again.
    but you can do it! you've come so far already
  • I had the same issue. I've gained back 15 lbs since June (Slowly, so I barely noticed!) until I tried to get into my jeans this weekend... The kick in the butt I needed! Halloween was MURDER on me. Normally there is 1 fun sized candy bar at work to keep me sane on those stressed out days. Well EVERYONE brought in their extra candy. 1 Kit Kat became 6. Box of Nerds became 3.

    BACK AT IT! We all fall off sometimes. The difference is when you have the guts to get back up, dust yourself off, and get back on! Chin up!