Triggers in a house not my own...

  • So I've narrowed my binge triggers down to a few foods, which is good. The only thing is that I'm not in my own house. I live with my parents/siblings & my mom has a daycare, meaning she may use that as an excuse to keep crappy convenience food around.

    How do I explain to her that I can't have a few certain foods in the house?

    I'm not asking everything(cause for kid's birthdays you do need cupcakes :P) just some of the things that nobody eats anyway. (Honestly, one of my binge foods is something I seem to be the only one eating...maybe she buys it for me, haha!)

    It'd just be easier for me.

    I can resist 95% of my binge foods, if I don't get started...if I avoid the trigger. Get the triggers out of the house & I'm on easy street!
  • Can you put YOUR food in one cupboard? Or if there are smaller trigger foods, put those in a cupboard that you just never open?

    But the thing is, life is full of trigger foods. Brownies at offices, cake at birthdays, pizza at sports games. You have to just remind yourself, over and over, that its not YOUR food, always have a back-up snack and just avoid them.

    I understand your issue. I live with roommates and its awful to have food around that is tempting. But you just have to remind yourself its NOT yours...and eating it is sorta like stealing.
  • there is nowhere I can put this food to avoid it. Every cupboard is being used for something & I don't want any more restrictions.(ie. I can't go in that cupboard)

    And for me, triggers aren't everywhere. I'm vegan, so that cuts out a lot of things. It's really just one thing that's setting me off, & I'm the only one eating it anyway. I don't want to just toss it cause then my family will be all food-police on my a$$. But if I'm the only one eating it & it's somehow getting me to binge if I eat ANY amount of it, what's wrong with getting rid of it?
  • I see what you mean. My father is an alcoholic and out of respect, we do not drink around him when out at restaurants. I sort of see it the same way. Yes, alcohol ads are on TV and alcohol is everywhere, but one of the first things AA tells families is that you don't drink beside the alcoholic if you want to support them. If you truly feel like this is a "trigger" then it is not unreasonable to ask of your mother. Whether or not she agrees, I don't know, but I think it is fair to ask.
  • I see from your blog that you have an eating disorder including a counselor for it. I think it would be wise to discuss this with your counselor too.
  • I straight up asked my mom if I could toss it, explaining how tough it is for me to have it around. She told me she understood(being a former bulimic who now denies herself everything to reduce risk of binging) & I tossed it.

    And I'm very open with my ED counselor, but thanks. I'll mention it.
  • I have not bought my trigger foods at this point so early on my weight loss journey. Foods like chips, chocolates, and even regular cheese I will not buy.

    Maybe your children/mother would understand if you ask nicely about not buying or getting rid of that trigger food? When I lived with my mom for a few months recently, I told her not to buy chocolate bars. She never really listened, but eventually I never went in the cupboard where I knew she put them. It worked sometimes, but not if I was having a craving. Best of luck!
  • I don't think we have a right to ask others to limit their food choices. You make the decision what to eat. Life isn't easy. There are always special occasions, food tastings, well-meaning friends, etc. You need to learn to say a resounding No Choice - I'm not eating that. When I go to my quilting retreats there are 2 tables full of every imaginable snack, some of which are my triggers. Should I ask the organizers to tell people they can't bring them? We live in a me society and we need to get over it.
  • Quote:
    hippy27 originally posted I straight up asked my mom if I could toss it, explaining how tough it is for me to have it around. She told me she understood(being a former bulimic who now denies herself everything to reduce risk of binging) & I tossed it.
    So glad to hear this. We should be able to count on our moms to help us.

    Quote:
    QuilterInVA originally posted I don't think we have a right to ask others to limit their food choices. You make the decision what to eat. Life isn't easy. There are always special occasions, food tastings, well-meaning friends, etc. You need to learn to say a resounding No Choice - I'm not eating that. When I go to my quilting retreats there are 2 tables full of every imaginable snack, some of which are my triggers. Should I ask the organizers to tell people they can't bring them? We live in a me society and we need to get over it.
    I both agree and disagree with you. We do have to learn to control what we eat. I think that it would be complete out of order to ask the organizers of your retreat to tell people what they can and can't bring. However, there should be some people in our lives that we can depend on to help us, parents, spouses, close friends, the people that love us. Hippy27 is only asking her mother to keep one item out of the house. That is a reasonable request for help.
  • I'm glad your mom agreed not to stock it anymore. Since no one else was eating it, seems like an easy choice.

    I agree that I don't have the right to make my food issues anyone else's problem, and that temptation is everywhere. But I also think that in your home, with people who love you, it's OK to ask for help in making staying on plan easier. My wife has some snacks she buys that are triggery for me (nuts, things in bags I can grab "just one" of as I go by, etc). So I asked her if she could store those snacks in her desk at work, and it was no problem - she still gets her food, and I don't have to make that "no" choice multiple times a day as I go in the cabinets.

    It's a far cry from asking people not to bring birthday cake into the office, IMO.