Hippy I think I understand what you are trying to say. Its almost the mentality "Oh, Im already big, whats this one bowl of icecream going to do tonight?" But when you actually see that you
can and
are getting smaller, you know that every bad thing eaten, exercise missed, or drink of alcohol can make a big difference. Its the all or nothing mentality. Its a downward spiral in my opinion. I think a lot of people that become overweight just basically throw in the towel until they wake up and realize "alright, this is not ok anymore". I too have never been overweight but my mom when she entered her 40's became overweight. When she got married at 26 she was 5'6.5 and weighed 125. She has always been health conscious. She has a degree in physical education for goodness sake! When she moved to FL in her 40's she gained 75 pounds! I think after gaining a few and then a few more, she began not to care; other things, like her children, seemed more important at the time. I tell her all the time, when you are overweight, losing in the beginning is easy. The first 10 pds for someone overweight, really is not that hard. And the scale going down is motivation to continue.
I too have those thoughts about people staring at me, knowing Im trying to lose weight, and watching everything that goes into my mouth and judging me. Just because I have made it known I am dieting my coworkers find it is okay to say things like "this would be better than what you are eating. Or that is not good if your dieting". It makes you feel like they are nitpicking everything you eat. I have learned to not talk about dieting with anyone but people who understand. But dont you think thats the same for people who are
really overweight. Think about how many times youve heard people make rude comments like "no wonder shes so big, look what shes eating". In my opnion most of America is out of shape and this is why people make rude comments. Its their own insecurities. Its the whole bully becuase you are insecure theory. I used to
really care what people thought and said about me and I have recently decided not to care. Like Amy said, let those people go. They are of no importance to your health and you have NOTHING to prove to them. If you want 4 reese cups, EAT THEM! And enjoy every last bite.
With "perfection"; I again, can understand this. All the many times I have tried dieting, I have failed and threw in the towel because I thought "Why go through all the work when I dont even think I can get that perfect body". (All or nothing mentality). Then I realized I wanted perfection because I wasnt happy with myself. I wasnt comfortable in my own skin. I think you might feel a little like this judging by your comments on what other people think. Just an observation; I could be wrong! But I think once you love you and are confident with you whether you are at 138 or 120, dieting becomes much easier and you become less hard on yourself. It doesnt seem so crucial to get to goal and you dont freak out when you have that darn frisco melt at 2 am
Bottom line, losing weight is not easy for anyone. While you are experiencing things that are difficult during your journey that really overweight people could not understand (and might even get mad at you for), you cannot understand some of the psychological obstacles they are going through.
Sorry for such a long rant. I just feel like losing weight is 80% mental and emotional, and 20% discipline! Thats why its so important to understand why we are overweight, why we binge, why we want to lose weight, etc...