I'm so glad to find that there are compassionate and understanding people on this forum. I was hurt when I had to wear a 16 in wedding dresses while normally being a ten. It was like- after all this work, I still haven't left size 16?

I think the OP would feel differently if it were her trying on dresses.

I don't think it's such a bad thing to be annoyed at "skinny" women for complaining about their weight. I can see that side of it, can see that it doesn't mean one is without compassion. It's got to be hard to deal with that on a regular basis, especially when fighting your own battle with weight. I just also agree with everyone who says that even thin women can have major issues with weight.

Granted, but my point is that we are not defined by our sizes, and what size we are does not make us a bad person (or a good person).

That's what I don't understand, is why it MATTERS so much. There should be zero emotions when buying a bridesmaid dress. It's something you're doing for your friend, so you should be happy to be a part of her wedding. One girl cried in the dressing room because she thought the dress the bride picked out was "ugly" and she "looked fat" in it (she was a 2).

I guess my view is that sizes don't matter, and never should matter. Why does it matter if one is a 2, 10, or 14? Like, who cares? I wouldn't care, and I don't care now. I just don't get it. I personally don't care that I wear a 14 in dresses, because my self-worth isn't defined by what size I wear.

I guess I just don't understand because I've never particularly cared about how I look. I care to an extent, of course, but I would never care so much to actually cry over it.

It just makes me so sad that women feel that way. And it's not that I'm thinking "shut up, you're perfect" I'm thinking, "STOP COMPLAINING!" I guess I just have zero tolerance for people who complain about their looks.

<<<Just because they're 'skinny' doesn't mean they have to be happy with their measurements.>>>

My point is, why care so much about them in the first place?

I wouldn't be so upset if this was only a couple of women every now and then, but the fact that it happens just about every day many times a day, makes me really depressed.

Oh I do, and they still sit there and argue with me about it.

But the thing is, no one who works there cares what size you are. Seriously. If someone is a 2 or a 26, whatever. If the dress fits. It doesn't matter to me. And if they do care, then they're a piece of s*it.

I hope you realize how silly that sounds, right? You shouldn't beat yourself up all, a size is just a number on a piece of clothing. Your self-worth is not measured by what size you wear.

You should only care about how healthy you are. And if you're healthy, be happy. Don't worry about the small stuff, like what the labels in your clothing says.

Who's we?

I'm not self-conscious. I'm losing weight because I had thyroid cancer, and I have no thyroid anymore, and my endocrinologist told me that I need to lose weight. I'm actually quite happy with how i look now and I really have no complaints.

And it really angers me when people (yes, men too) measure their self-worth by how they look. We can all blame society, but at the end of the day, most of us choose how to think and feel about ourselves. It's a choice to care that much, to think that others care about how they look.

I guess I just think people should have better things to worry about. We only have one life, why spend it obsessing with looks and how others think we look?

Nope. I'm engaged and I have tried on wedding gowns and bought mine already. Didn't care then, don't care now.

And it's not as if your hard work was erased because one label said something differently than another label, the scale didn't change, how you look didn't change, so why did you feel hurt?

The thing is, though, size =/= thinness. I don't know where that idea came from.

Well, congratulations on having achieved perfection in the area of self confidence. Feel free to continue to look down on all of us for caring how we look.

This thread is kinda spiraling out of control.

I would say 99% of women feel self concious about how they look, and for the 1% that has learned not to care that's a huge step.

I get what your talking about, when thinner girls get upset about their size. I have a friend who is 108 pounds and will not be happy until she is 100 even. Sometimes... just sometimes... I want to slap her. I wish my problems could be so good! Or like my very thin friend who eats all the time because she feels she is too skinny and wants to weigh more.

I see your side of this OP, but now I feel like your looking down on us for being self concious. If you have achieved being a woman with no confidence or body issues I applaud you. But you have to understand that we are not at that stage in our lives, and we may never will be.

Body issues with women in this day and age is a huge thing, I believe it's why anorexia and bullemia have become so much more worse and common place. It's little things that may push a person to those extremes because they feel they will not be perfect until they starve themselves to death. One of these girls you see getting uspet may have a eating disorder, or mental issues with their weight.

I would just like it if everyone can see this from each others side, and learn to respect each other for how they feel. I just don't think you can expect a woman to have no self confidence or body image issues. It's unrealistic.

I don't like the idea that my self-confidence issues are "silly" because they are very real to me. Some days of course I feel fabulous and beautiful but those days I feel horrible/bloated/fat/lazy/flawed.. It's not something silly in my head.

A part of me started on this journey to be healthy.. and a part of me started on this journey to be vain. I'm still relatively young (24) so I'm not experiencing major health issues due to being obese but I know of the consequences if I continue down that path.

It's a mixture of both of those things that keep me driven to continue on this journey to lose weight and be healthy.

I also have 2 weddings in September that I want to look good at. While I am not a bridesmaid, I want to look hot at the wedding.

I already wrote I wish I didn't care about what size I am but I do. I can't help it. I'm between an 8-9 right now and that's unacceptable in my book. Some people rock that size but I don't think this is the best I can be. I believe I can do better.

I have very few overweight friends and I feel like I'm constantly surrounded by self-conscious women ...maybe it's an infection but I can't be the only one feeling down when someone is complaining about being a size "4" instead of anger.

It's so great that you seem very confident in your own skin and could care less what size you are. It's great you are on this journey for health reasons. I'm sorry to read about your thyroid cancer and hope you well.
We all have different things to drive us.

I dont feel size = thinness at all! Im a perfect example. I wear a size for and sometimes, SOMETIMES, certain brands, I can wear a size 2. But I am by no means skinny! Im what they call a thicker girl! Blah! I have a big ol booty and legs but still can fit in a smaller size. Size has nothing to do with your weight or how "skinny" you are. I think girls just get so hung up on sizes becuase they are hung up on their bodies!

BELEASE! Where are you dear friend? The suspsense of how you lost weight is killing me!!

I started this journey to be healthy - I had major health issues and after losing 56 lbs, they're no longer an issue. However, I still want to lose 30ish more pounds - both for health and vanity reasons. Do I take society's view of the "perfect woman" into account when I say this? NO. I'm doing it for ME. For what I would be happy with.

There are many ways that people measure their weight loss success, or if they need to lose/gain weight. Some of us weigh, some of us measure, and some of us go based on clothing size. While "size doesn't matter" to you, to some it ultimately does and there should be some respect associated with that.

OP, I have a question for you:

If girls who are trying on wedding gowns are upset because of the size, and you think they shouldn't care...

.... why do YOU care so much about whether or not they are upset about it?

Everybody has their thing. I knew I wanted to get back to a size 6 because that's where I was happy and comfortable. I didn't know what weight that would be. And I would strongly argue that I SHOULD care about my size because guess what? Even though I was "healthy" in terms of blood work at 213 lbs and size 18, I certainly would have not stayed that way given my family history of heart disease and diabetes.

I have been in enough bridesmaid dresses and my own (size 26) wedding gown to know that bridal wear is different than every day clothing sizes. I'm well aware how it works. But that doesn't mean that I'm not proud of losing enough weight and fitting into a single digit size BM dress. I worked really hard to get to this size and IT MATTERS TO ME.

I have been the fat friend and felt really bad about myself when my thin friends were complaining about being fat. But now that I am a thin person, I understand where they are coming from. Just because I weigh in the low 130s doesn't mean that I never have days where I don't feel like I look that good. There are days I look in the mirror and still see the 213 lb me! So I understand where they are coming from because I have been on both sides of the fence, but I have a little more compassion for those who are upset about their size in bridal gowns. The gown they will wear on the most important day of their life (so far). The gown they have been dreaming about since they were little girls.

I still remember one of the worst feelings was trying on wedding gowns knowing they would have to be held up or pinned together because I was too large to fit into the samples. Not exactly how you picture it will happen. Do these girls have the same problem? Probably not. But it's an exciting and sometimes nervous time, and if they care about their size... so what?

Yikes!

For reasons that OP doesn't agree with, women (of ALL shapes and sizes) are hung up on numbers. Incidentally, this site is where people congregate to deal with such issues related to numbers on the scale, numbers on the tag of your jeans, numbers on BMI calculators, etc...

In short, feathers have been ruffled so I am closing this thread.