So I work at David's Bridal and while I love my job, the one thing I hate is when these skinny girls come in and COMPLAIN about what size they are. Part of what we have to do is get measurements so we can order the correct size. Most of the time, I measure these girls and they straight up tell me "No, I'm NOT that size." And I'm talking they measure at a 8, 6, 4...... and i'm like Really? Does it matter THAT much? Like, who cares what f****** size you are???? So I stand there and I don't want to argue with them but what can I do? I'm just trying to do my job.
Does anyone else know what I'm talking about? It just bothers me so much that women care SO MUCH about what size they are. To the point where one girl was on the verge of TEARS. Over me saying that she measured at a size 8.
I just don't get it. I could understand if this didn't happen regularly, but it seems it happens every day. Are women REALLY that self-conscious?
I'm always a bigger size in dresses than in jeans/shirts. I agree there's far too much emphasis on the numbers and people shouldn't get so upset about it. Once they accept that not all numbers are the same and that vanity sizing is what makes them the size 4 they think they are, and that dresses are always a different size than other clothes, hopefully you won't have to deal with this any more!
Yep. Just because they are skinny doesnt mean that they dont feel any pressure to get more thin, stay thin, be more toned, be more tanned, be more "beautiful"
Well, they may be skinny now but maybe they had to work really hard to get there, like I did. (Not that I'm skinny, ha). I personally didn't have any traumas getting my bridal dress because it was a sample that had to be tailored to fit me, so nobody came near me with a tape measure. But I can see how it might sting to work really hard and then get told 'you're two sizes bigger than you thought you were'. For me, it'd put me back where I started! And they're probably nervous about the situation (I know I've never bought a dress so important, worth so much, or in such an unusual situation as my bridal dress, I've never had anything made to measure me before) so their emotions are heightened.
I think when you're working on your own weight or are self-conscious, you can lump all the people smaller than you into the 'skinny' category and forget that they're also all different sizes, with different hangups and parts they don't like. Just like you look at someone and think 'shut up, you're perfect', there's probably someone who thinks the same about you. Like some of the girls on here who are bigger but pretty who complain that people say 'you have a pretty face'. I guess I understand the veiled criticism and it must sting, but MY GOD I'd have loved to have someone call me pretty. Even at a low weight I'm no looker. So when I hear people complain about that I probably have the same reaction that you do to skinny people moaning about their dress sizes. The only thing to do is smile and try to reassure them. Just because they're 'skinny' doesn't mean they have to be happy with their measurements. It is silly to put all your self-esteem into a number, but people do stupid stuff. I know my goal weight is the same for me - but then again I don't freak out when someone makes me weigh myself at the wrong time of day, or wearing my trainers, or after I had a big dinner.
I agree -some of them probably work really hard or may do unhealthy things to get to the size they are, and hearing something like being a size or two bigger can seem devastating to them.
As someone else mentioned, I believe dresses run on the small size. It might help if you explain to them before they get measured that they will be a size or two bigger...? That will save you the hassle of having a meltdown on your hands!
As someone else mentioned, I believe dresses run on the small size. It might help if you explain to them before they get measured that they will be a size or two bigger...? That will save you the hassle of having a meltdown on your hands!
I agree with this. Do you explain that wedding dresses especially run small and most people will measure 2 sizes bigger than their regular clothing?
I had a similar experience. No one mentioned it to me so when I was being handed size 12 dresses I was quite taken aback. This time in a person's life can be particularly fragile- a time when women who are otherwise confident and might not give a crap what size they are DO care because their wedding day is SO important. This is a time when women work very hard to look their very best so yes, being handed a dress 2 sizes bigger than your regular clothes if you aren't warned can be...surprising. I found that once someone slipped me a little bit of reasoning I didn't care anymore.
I never knew that dress sizes at bridal shops or designer gowns ran smaller than normal sizes until I read lots of post on the forums about it. It's nice to know before I get a rude awakening at the actual store.
While I'm not skinny yet, I think I probably would feel self-conscious about being certain sizes especially in front of the workers. I am still shy in the
dressing rooms.
I once had professional photos done with my family when I turned 18 and my mom asked the worker if they get girls "bigger" than me. The worker was like "yes of course!"..It made me feel like a cow. I was probably mid 130s at the time but in asia, that's fat. I've hated dressing rooms for years! Even more so when workers ask me "how is it going in there"...SO awkard.
I don't think I would outwardly say something about not being a certain size but inside my mind I'm probably beating myself up and calling myself not-so-nice things.
So I'm actually one of those girls who "f****** cares" about what size I am. I wish I didn't but I really want to be on the lower end of the size charts like my friends and family.
I care what size I am and it would shake me a bit if I went in to buy a dress and someone handed me a 12 and in everything else I was an 8. Its just a shock - many of us measure our progress based on what size clothes we are, so just based on that I can understand why women freak out while wedding dress shopping.
I agree with whoever said to warn them before hand.
Yes. Absolutely yes. And I think that we should understand this better than anybody. It's unfortunate, but I think the cultural climate as it currently exists teaches women to view their bodies as imperfect, as not good enough. I bet most of us here have experienced this. It doesn't matter what size you are, or how much you've transformed your body, body image is probably a sensitive issue for most women, even the skinny ones. Your dress size can be a big part of that. I think we should extend the support and empathy we give each other on these forums to other women. Skinny women are women, with though processes (however flawed they may be) just like the rest of us.
While I agree with the others, I DO understand your frustration. Even though we have no idea how the numbers on a size tag are going to affect someone, it is never fun to hear someone very small complain about their "fatness." It's like, if you are fat at a size 4, I must be a freaking rhinoceros! As I get closer to goal, I am working really hard to catch myself before I say things like that that might offend or hurt someone's feelings who is larger than I am. But most of the time, especially in a wedding dress situation, they are so focused inwardly that what's being said has absolutely nothing to do with you.
I absolutely LOVE your outlook on this and agree with you 100%. Not only are you corrent in what you say, but you have such a great positive outlook on how to handle situations like these. I can relate to both! I am not overweight but I am very hungup on my body and getting it into shape. To the point of obsession. I am very serlfconscious of my body but there are so many people that I know think I am crazy for thinking this way! But I still have the same self esteem and image issues as someone who is bigger than me. On the other hand, my older sister is taller and very thin. There are times when she is complaining about her body that I literally want to smack her across the face lol
Belease,
Can you PLEASE PLEASE tell me how you lost your weight. I have been wanting to meet someone who is around my age, height and weight and lost a good amount of weight. How did you do it? Were you taking any supplements? Adderall? lol How many calories do you eat? Exercise? Do you drink and still lose weight? PLEASE tell me what plan has worked for you for you to be down to 121! I am so intersted to know this...
Belease.. Like Dianne I am also curious how you lost your weight. The three of us are similar in goals and height. I can relate to you Dianne on the fact that even when I was 128 a year ago, I still felt huge and needed to tone up/lose more weight. Please share your tips on nutrition and working out - I've started to jog a few nights by the beach aprox 2 mi.
While I agree with Belease, I am pretty sure I wouldn't react that way to a fitting. If someone told me I was an 8 and I knew I didn't wear that size, I'd try it because they are the bridal experts. If it fit, I would assume bridal sizes ran small. No big deal. (Out of curiosity, do you explain to them how wedding-dress sizing works?) But I haven't always been that way—I have worked at it—and I've also never been overweight. Who knows how much weight those women lost to get where they are, only to be told they weren't as thin as they thought they finally were? There are a whole host of issues that come with being overweight. And knowing the issues I had just at my original size, well.... I get it. People of all sizes have hang-ups. It's sometimes hard to believe that thin women aren't just looking for someone to call them skinny when they say they aren't, but they aren't. And they aren't judging you just because they are hard on themselves.
I still get surprised by photos that are taken of me, because the person I see in the mirror is not nearly as thin as the person in the photograph. And it's still jarring to have women ask me at the gym how I got my abs because I have to work hard to make myself see them in the mirror. I fight against my brain all the time in order to maintain a healthy outlook. So, yeah.... I can see a thin woman approaching tears over clothing size. A lot of the time, we're barely keeping it together as it is. But, seriously, it's hard being a woman—of any size. And the smaller you are, the more easily you see every pound, even when it's water weight. It's actually not hard to be convinced you did go up a size or two, especially if you had a big meal the night before.
And, well, it's your wedding dress, right? I imagine I can't see myself as that emotional in part because I have never imagined my wedding dress, or wedding for that matter. I'm a little odd that way. But for many women the world over it's a BIG deal. If there is one day that you want to feel thin and beautiful, well, then, your wedding day, in your wedding dress... That is the day. And that is the dress. That is your moment, and you want it to be perfect. And that includes your "perfect" size.
Last edited by Petite Powerhouse; 06-14-2010 at 07:35 PM.
I care what size I am and it would shake me a bit if I went in to buy a dress and someone handed me a 12 and in everything else I was an 8. Its just a shock - many of us measure our progress based on what size clothes we are, so just based on that I can understand why women freak out while wedding dress shopping.
That's what I am thinking. It's "the most important day of your life" and you want to be beautiful and then someone tells you your "bigger" then you thought. It could be rather upsetting.
I used to car pool with this girl. She was beautiful, tall and thin. Model material if you ask me. And she would always say she was fat or was trying to lose weight or some a cleanse or this or that. It was DEPRESSING. It made he feel bad about myself because I would think, "man, if she thinks she is fat what the heck am I?" I actually said that to her once, and she said "OMG you are not fat!" *sigh* I can defiantly relate to how you feel.
Some skinny girls piss me off!
