I'm so happy about hitting the 90 lb mark and closing in on onederland that I started thinking about some of the things I've done right this time... at the same time, sort of scratching my head and wondering why it took me twenty years to figure it out.
So, here are some things I've done right this time.
1. I appreciate my body. Let's face it. At age 48, I'm not imagining any Victoria's Secret models in my head. I'm not competing for guys. I'm not fantasizing about wearing amazing sexy outfits in size 0 or 2. I feel lucky that I've made it to this age with no major health problems, and I'm frankly amazed that it has been easier than I expected to regain a lot of fitness. When I was younger, I really didn't appreciate my body-- I focused a lot on flaws and had unrealistic expectations. Now, I really just want to be normal-- being normal is a lot easier to achieve than being perfect.
2. I take the long view. When I was younger, I was not especially good at being patient and setting long term goals. When I was younger, I would have had a hard time thinking about sticking to a plan for a whole year and still having a BMI of 31. I was a lot more black and white about it. I didn't realize that every pound lost is good. Again, the perfection thing-- better is good. Perfect is not necessary.
3. My plan does not require a lot of thought or a lot of planning. I'm not a planner in any area of my life, so I do best with a plan that I don't have to think about much. I eat a variety of foods, but it's pretty limited-- toast with peanut butter and banana in the morning, protein and veggie for lunch and dinner, I have a few single serving items: low-fat cheese stick, yogurt, cottage cheese, apple, that I eat for snacks. I shake it up sometimes, but not that often. I like it because it feels flexible so it doesn't kick up my old binge behaviors, and it's easy to follow, I don't have to think about it too much. Thinking about it, for me, leads to obsessing about it, which leads to feeling restricted, which in the past, led to bingeing.
4. I practiced positive self-talk until it became a habit! This might be the most important one of all. Gone is the whole "you're fat, you're a failure, you can't do this..." I replaced that script with a much more positive one. And if I feel myself getting out of line, I call up the voices here, and remind myself the things that people here say. It gets me through.
5. I bought new clothes on the way down. Every time I went down a size, I felt good about it and told myself I looked skinny-- I celebrated when my 24s got loose, I celebrated when I got into a 20. I celebrated getting into the 280s, and the 270s, just as much as getting into the teens and zeroes.
So, I'm not there yet, but I'm really happy with where I am now, and just anticipate it getting better.
How about you guys? What have you done differently this time?