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I suffer from self esteem issues and I'm just wondering how do you love yourself?
I treat myself with respect, kindness and like I am valuable to me. I do not talk down about myself or others.
I do not hang out with people who are disrespectful, rude, have unhealthy boundaries, are mean, etc. Or the more subtle emotional vampires who may not be obvious about it but still suck you dry.
I try to meet my emotional, physical, mental, social, spiritual and character building needs. For a long time I only dealt with emotional and mental. I neglected spiritual and physical. Took social and character building for granted. I feel like I'm more integrated as a whole person and more balanced and at peace when I try to give each of these areas some attention instead of only going with my favs or what's easiest.
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I feel that I cant be loved because of my weight problem. I know that sounds crazy but I believe that. So how does one start on the road to accepting themselves and loving themselves.
Do you think you can change this belief that you cannot be loved because of your weight? I think you'd have to start there. Figure out what your square one is and work on the why you think you are unloveable inside.
I don't think it is your weight. "Weight problem" is what you picked to focus on because you are not happy about it right now. But not being happy with your weight (external outside physical thing) is not the same thing as not being happy within yourself. (internal, inside emotional/mental thing.)
You could lose a zillion or gain a zillion, but if the bottom line is that you THINK (mental) or FEEL (emotional) you are not worth loving, then what you look like doesn't matter.It's not what the outer package is. You have to address the inside with inside type tools.
If not ready to care for your inner self just yet, try just caring for your outer self first. (get some sun, eat nutritiously, practice good sleep habits, etc.) That can start building a little self-care and self esteem from that. Just being neat, clean, and dressed appropriately isn't going to solve all esteem issues, but won't hurt and might give you the little boost to get on to the rest.
But get around to the inner business. Don't put it off forever.
Start addressing the inner emotional/mental stuff. Do you have good relationships with other people? Why or why not? Do you need to check your boundaries? Do you have enough? positive people around you? Too many emotional vampires bringing you down? Do you do anything that is esteem building? Do you engage in anything that is esteem eroding?
Who loves you? Do you allow them to? Do you express it back well? Do you allow yourself to be vulnerable to the emotions connected to loving and being loved -- both the ups and downs?
(I mean all types -- romantic love/caring, family love/caring and friend love/caring.)
GL!
A.