So last night since there was no food whatsoever in the house we decided to go out for dinner (something that is going to STOP) My friend is well aware of my eating habbits good and bad so I told him that I dont mind going out as long as we go somewhere that has "good for you" foods and is not super expensive. I said subway, He said Chineese buffett. My ears perked up and I said yes, they have huge carts of vegtables and fruits so I figured what the ****. He then said we shouldnt go and asked me if I could handle myself there, jsut stick with the fruits and veggies, no fried foods, and i said with full confidence that I could noooo problem. Well my first plate proved that I couldnt bbq spare ribs crab wrang goons etc... then my second plate.. then my 3rd witch was deserts. I diddnt make it.. the minute I saw all the food restrictions went out the window... SO I now realize I am a terrable addict and walking into the buffet was like an alcoholic walking into the liqure store. Im not putting myself in those situations again.. I feel like 18 days not binge eating is like 18 days being sober and its not enough time to "make a full recovery" per say... I really need to vent that out I need to get back on the wagon! Im really thankfull theres a place I can come and rant and rave..thanks again everyone for listening!!!

Take a deep breath. You should be proud that you realized this addiction so you can now better prepare yourself. Consider that your major treat meal for the next few weeks. Just get back on plan and you wont regret it. Falling down doesnt make us fail, staying down does

For me, I can't go to a buffet. I can have the best intentions, but when I open the door and smell all the food, I'm done for. Subway is really the only place that I don't have a problem with. I can go to Subway, order a six inch, eat it and I'm satisfied and it doesn't set me up for cravings later.

Personally, I don't think that I'll ever make a "full recovery". I just fell off the wagon after 83 days binge-free. It's not a habit that needs to be broken. It's way deeper than that. For me, it's a real addiction, and I'll always have to be aware of what makes me fall off track. It may get easier, but I honestly don't realistically see myself being able to ever have certain foods in my house.

Good realization though! And congrats on 18 days, that takes a lot of concentration and planning!

I TOTALLY understand. I have that addiction too. Whenever I went to a buffet, I ate till I made myself sick. I cannot go to buffets anymore, at all.

Right now I just finished eating a can of soup, I am full, and I STILL want to go in the kitchen and find more to eat. When I am done eating something, I actually feel sad. I look forward to the next time I can eat. I plan for it (to make sure I don't eat too many calories), and then when it's over, I'm depressed. I want to keep on eating!

thanks for your kind words everyone. I think your right paris all I want to do is be normal with food and Its never going to happen. I will never have a normal relationship food I just have to avoid situations like those ones... congrats on making it 83 days! thats wild! well I binged again last night so. i dont know... im ready for this to end and I know I can stop it.... its just so hard and food is just so gratifying.