Hey ladies~
Thanks so much for the encouragement. I think I realized tonight as I shoved 2 helpings of dinner and then a large piece of cake into my face that I am afraid. I hate pressure, and I create it constantly and I work best under it (literally at work). But, as I watched my reflection in the kitchen window as I piled cake in my mouth I kept thinking I HAVE to eat this today if I'm going to because I can't tomorrow. I was AFRAID I couldn't have it again. I think the same goes with smoking. Its crazy. Its freaking fear that keeps me bound up in inaction and indecision. It was like a light went off.
I am still sick today. Went to work (had to) and then stopped by bootcamp. Let trainer know I would be going again, but needed one more night to try to sleep off the sickness. There's was no way I could keep up. So bad for the day = dinner. Good for the day = committed to bootcamp.
MMavis - Thank you. I missed you too. Saw one of your posts on another thread and wanted to say hey... but I had to get back to work. I'm here for the duration, girl. Glad to be back with my girls.
Mtiggie ~ hows your world little mamma? Glad to see you!!!!
Onestar- I hope your days brighten soon. I know that I keep questioning myself on the depression front. It has never made any sense to me because I feel like I have things so good, and am so blessed that I couldn't possibly be depressed. But it creeps up, sometimes for no reason. Feeling overwhelmed kicks it in for me. Start a list of "things I give me credit for" no matter how small. My started with "got to work on time" and grew from there. You will pull yourself out, and were here to yank on ya when you think you cant. Here's my hand......
Tiara, emi, Jen, and everyone else... be good. You have no idea how you girls can lift the spirits of other people just by being here.