Hi everyone! I'm Effie, I'm 18, and a freshman in college. I've never actually been happy with my weight, even when I was thin I was always plotting and planning some ridiculous scheme to lose weight or tone up. They never lasted long. My senior year in high school resulted in a bit of a 'packing on the pounds' scenario, and now that I'm in college, I'm ready to get healthy. I have a love/hate relationship with food, and was the kind of kid who snuck food and would have massive binges and then fast for a few days only to binge again. You know, the 'I'm going to get out all my cravings here and now and then start dieting in the morning.' Except that the morning pretty much always turns into next week, next month.... later?
I think I've found the flaw in my attempts, I always try to go at it alone, I'm embarrassed to talk about it with my friends (almost all of whom are skinnier and therefore prettier in my mind than I am). I'm tired of being the 'fat one' or what's worse, the 'funny, fat one'. Even my family is critical, my mom is too wrapped up in her own desire to lose weight (although she doesn't have to), my dad makes those little comments about it as well... I'm getting tired of it.
Recently I've had several things that have just set me off and reaffirmed my desire to lose the weight for good
1. This past summer my brother told me that I really needed to lose weight (ouch, much?)
2. My roommate insinuating that I couldn't fit into clothes from normal stores
3. The constant "you would be so pretty if you just lost weight." comments
4. The fact that I'm always the odd girl out in groups, the third or fifth or seventh wheel or what have you
5. I'm sick and tired of not feeling good about myself
6. I take other people's cameras and delete unflattering pictures of myself... and am an untagging machine on facebook.
So, here I am, ready and partially on my way to a happier and healthier me. It is kind of scarier than I thought, though.Well, this is longer than I planned, but I'm happy to be here and am excited about continuing on my weight loss journey with ya'll (how hokey does that sound???).
Lots of love,
Effie