Summer seems to bring lots of special events. There are family get togethers of all sorts, weddings, trips to amusement parks and county fairs, camping trips and vacations to special places. I suspect for most of us all those events and places are associated with special foods. Food has always been a binder for families and clans, with special items reserved for special days. A long time ago we only ate those foods at those times. Now we have more exposure to those high fat, high carb, sweet treats. We can even make them at home when we need comfort. That doesn't stop us/me from thinking I'm entitled to them when I go somewhere. If the key to success is changing our lifestyle and mindset rather than a brief time with a diet, how do we fit those events into our lives? What about the people we care about who make those treats? Sometimes it feels like navigating a mine field.
When I was young my family decided to become vegetarian. My whole family is very Italian and food is a key ingredient in all events. It was really hard for my Gram to adjust and accept our food choices. She and my Dad butted heads regularly over this (and other stuff ) but in the end we stuck to our decision (except my brother who never signed on). She made some adjustments, we brought more of the meal, and we all loved each other at the end of the experiment.
Now I live with a diabetic. She chooses to control her diabetes with diet as much as possible and only use the drugs she has to. For the last 8 years every meal I cook, every restaurant we go to is weighed against an ingredient list. I have the caretaker gene. It was easy for me to ask about ingredients, request variations and bring things she could eat whenever we went anywhere. It's her health on the line and I have no time for anyone who can't respect that. We are also vegetarian and chicken broth is not vegetarian! I have learned to be assertive about food in those instances.
Now it is my health. Some could say that this WOL is optional, that I don't need to follow this plan. I know that the obesity was threatening my health, well being, and ultimately my life. In my mind that's not too far different from DP's diabetes. For me this way of eating has worked beyond my wildest dreams. My weight is in check, my inflammation level is down, my mood has improved dramatically, and my crazy eating behavior is better. I really believe that avoiding high fructose corn syrup totally and staying away from white flours and all sugars has changed my life. I know because I've made a mistake here and there and paid for it. So yeah, this is about my health and my life.
That's all a long way to get to planning and dealing with other people. I'm very upfront about my food choices, though I don't explain them to everyone. And I don't compromise. I never ask family and friends to adjust their plans or menus, but I do ask about every ingredient and bring my own dishes to share. I do ask restaurants about ingredients and to tweak menus. You'd be amazed how many restaurants will vary an item if you request it. I go everywhere I want to go and I always plan the food first. Honestly if people really care about me they need to get past feeling hurt if I don't eat the food they prepared. How could you not want the people you care about to be healthy? Eating their food isn't how I show I care, being there does that. I know it's not that easy, heck I'm Italian! But it does work after some bumps. The best part is that through no intention of my own a few of the people in my life have started making healthier choices now to. I love that extra bonus because I never expected it
Have I made mistakes? About a million Every time I do I regret it afterward because my body is that sensitive to some of this stuff. Sometimes I knowingly plan a "treat" in a very controlled, limited fashion. I didn't do that though until I reached maintenance. I think my body needed the time to really adjust into this new way of life. Now I will occasionally eat a home baked item. I never waste time on prefab crap but something baked from scratch will fit in now and then. At the holidays I ate one each of the three cookies my Mom baked from scratch. The varieties that started with mixes didn't make the cut (aside from the probable HFCS they just weren't as good). Some things haven't been worth it. French fries just no longer appeal to me so once was enough. I suspect this will be a lifelong process of trial and error.
So what works for you? What hasn't worked? What are your challenges?