I think it comes from years of not taking care of myself at all... going through hard times and break up with Chinese takeout and a ton of booze. I just want to do it right this time and really move on in a positive way. No day but today.

I'm sorry for your loss. Journals are great tools to have to vent everything out. You'll eventually be just fine. This will be one of the best times in your life. Your plan sounds great. We are wishing you well.

I am very sorry for your loss. I wish I had some advice to give but at the moment I don't. Last week I ended a 3 year realationship myself. I know the gapping hole that is there. The good news for me, is that I didn't over eat. I will figure out where to go from here.

Hey L., you are awesome and I know you will get through with time.

I can so relate to what you are going through. My husband recently left me after 25 years of marriage. I feel completely dead inside. Like I want to wake up from this nightmare and find everything is back the way it's suppose to be. I never saw this coming and I'm hurting so bad. There is a big gaping hole right where my heart use to be. I'm thinking to focus on other things like losing weight. I have to have a hysterectomy in the next few months and after I've healed from that I'm going to look for a job.

I've got to push on, make goals, to live...so I stop feeling like I want to die, if you all know what I mean.

Best of luck to you!

just wanted to wish you all the best.

Thanks everyone. I am actually doing awesome in comparison to thinking about how I could be. Yesterday I seriously had the least stressful happiest days I've had in a long time. Every time I find myself getting sad or scared or anything I just think to myself...'but he didn't love you', he said that from the beginning. If there was no love then there was no relationship to be had. I got up yesterday, not hungover, had a great work out, worked in the garden, went to the store. I wasn't stressed out, I wasn't rushing nothing. Got a good night's sleep and made it through today. I got a lot done at the office, am planning my upcoming visits with my friends and I'm off to the gym again tonight.

I honestly look back and realize I have been eating and drinking and crying my way through dealing with the emotional weight of loving someone who didn't love me back for the past near 10 months. As much as I miss the good times, as the minutes go on I just keep looking ahead and realizing there is so much more to come. I feel great, motivated and I'm just going to try to keep the momentum going and surround myself with positive things and plow on. The hole is still there but it it will fill with time.

And justmary, my heart goes out to you. 25 years of marriage is something that I think is beyond the grasp of my imagination only being 28 years old. Stay strong, stay positive I have faith in you.

Oh hon, I went through that too. Eating, drinking, crying, the whole nine yards. Luckily I got out of that relationship, but it took me about four years to do so (I don't count the first year of the five since it was actually a happy time). Anyway, I'm glad you got out as early as you did.

It's often easier to stick it out in a bad relationship rather than go into the scary territory of being alone. But I know that beyond all the hurting and frustration I felt over breaking up, a weight was lifted off my shoulders.

Sounds like you're doing ok. If you find yourself in any dark moments ahead, just remember that you have a lot of good things to look forward to. We all do, and we all deserve much more than an unhappy, loveless relationship, even if that means standing on your own.