Lori Bell: people in general can be so catty. Overweight or skinny. I was in great shape physically at one time in my life. My husband and I went out dancing EVERY weekend and that on top of exercising kept me that way. When I became pregnant with my second child, I immediately gained weight. I would say I gained 3/4 of the total weight gained by my 5th month. I worked in the public sector and a girl that had already made a remark about me to my best friend not knowing she was my best friend (and this girl didn't even know ME) walked right up and said "WOW, you have GAINED A LOT OF WEIGHT!" and was like even SMILING about it. I wanted to say DUH! I am 5 months pregnant you idiot! But I managed to keep it civil.
You look great so I wouldn't let it get to you! People can find ways to be weird for all sorts of reasons. But especially about weight.
One other thing has been bothering me lately and maybe it's just my imagination, but it seemed like the few slimmer friends I have were always the most supportive in the beginning, but now that I'm nearing their weight, or maybe a tad bit smaller than one, they have changed their tune a little. Maybe I'm annoying, (though, I try not to talk about weight much to people outside of 3FC because it IS annoying to some), but they seem different. I can't place my finger on it, but it's kind of like they want me thinner, but not thinner than them... IDK, maybe I'm reading too much into it.
I remember there was a girl either here or on a blog who said when she lost her weight and she wasn't the "fat" friend anymore and guys started hitting on her, her "friends" told her they liked her better fatter.
When I became pregnant with my second child, I immediately gained weight. I would say I gained 3/4 of the total weight gained by my 5th month. I worked in the public sector and a girl that had already made a remark about me to my best friend not knowing she was my best friend (and this girl didn't even know ME) walked right up and said "WOW, you have GAINED A LOT OF WEIGHT!" and was like even SMILING about it. I wanted to say DUH! I am 5 months pregnant you idiot! But I managed to keep it civil.
When a very naturally skinny friend of mine was pregnant, we had a customer in the salon (we were both hairdressers) who said to her "So how does it feel to be fat now?" At her biggest with her 10lb baby, my friend weighed a little over 130. Her mouth just dropped open and she didn't know what to say. But I know she wanted to mess up that woman's hair!
Lori Bell, it may be that you've been in a "category" with your friends for so long -- you know, "the chubby funny one" or "the big one amongst us". And I'll bet dollars to carrot sticks that they thought "well, I'll support her, but she won't make it". And now that you are where you are, you don't "fit" into the category anymore. And this can be pretty scary for some people, because the whole dynamic is changing and they don't have ANY control over it...And you've changed too! You MUST have changed, and this is scary, too...
I remember shopping with 2 friends and I was fitting into really cute stuff and I was smaller than one of the women (finally!). And she turned to the other friend and said "She looks really good. She's not ALLOWED to look better than us." I think that sums it up on so many levels -- I fit into a box in the relationship and the relationship was changing and it made her uncomfortable. We are still friends, but I've lost more since our last shopping trip and she hasn't mentioned a thing...I think she's just trying to work things out in her head. But it just may be that this relationship won't last...
And she turned to the other friend and said "She looks really good. She's not ALLOWED to look better than us."
Oh, how awful. But I know how you feel! Post weight loss, I was in my sisters wedding 3 months after my own. I was told, and I quote, "Your job as bridesmaid is to be fatter than me at my wedding. And I don't want to hear about it because I was bigger than you at yours".
And when I didn't acheive that "goal", I was told it was OK to wear giant heels, so as to make myself generally Amazon-ish, and apparently that was sufficient.
I can just SEE you in enormous clunky wedgie heels, in a bad polyester bridesmaid dress, trying to blend into the background because the bride wants you to look bigger than you are because you OWE her...
The only thing worse would be if the dress looked like this, but in burgundy..
I had a neighbor lady that I'm friendly with compliment me on my weight loss, then say, "Make sure you don't get too skinny!" thought that was just too funny.
drives me a bit batty when bf will say, well, it's ok to have a little of X, you have to have balance.... then if I don't see the results I want at the end of the week on the scale: well, if you didn't overindulge so much, you know you'd do better....
