So after a lifetime of problems, health issues that were only taken care of at extreme moments (i.e. when something random and crazy happened and I ended up in the hospital due to a strange, random infection), depression, and weight gain/battling.... I'm finally trying to do something about it.
5 days ago I got an entire body blood & urine test done at my new doctor's office... I should be getting the results in a few days they said.
It took me 2 months to save up the $300 for it (gotta love lack of insurance)... and the whole time I did nothing but research online all my symptoms and problems and you know what? I think I'm about to go crazy. And these last few days are killing me even more.... so many possibilities are going through my mind... what I could have, what I might NOT have.... and what *almost* seems worse.... that there's actually nothing really wrong with me and I'm just fat and can't do anything about it.
But I seriously doubt that. With a family history rife with diabetes, thyroid, and other problems.... *sigh* I just highly doubt it. I've tried so hard the past year or two to change to my life... I work out at LEAST 3 days a week, sometimes more (I also take care of my family and work 60+ hours a week, it's hard sometimes)... have definitely made a step towards eating healthier... and still.... it's like next to impossible to lose weight or keep off what I have lost! It's so frustrating.... it's such an uphill battle! Ridiculously so!
And my health and energy and everything just keeps on deteriorating with time... which just seems insane to me because I've made so many steps towards being healthier, including quitting drinking & partying, eating healthier, being so much more active.....
I just don't know. I'm so frustrated I could cry... and have when I've gone over the list of things that could be wrong with me.... and from what I've read and researched... it could be anything from thyroid to PCOS to IR to vitamin deficiencies (my doctor was really pushing this on me on my first visit to her, before the bloodwork was done - personally, I think that that's a given but I doubt that that's the end of it)...... and I feel like I'm going crazy waiting!!
God grant me the strength to get through this.... and hopefully beat whatever it is. And above all... I just finally want some answers why I've suffered with all the problems I've had my whole life.
~*Amanda*~