Newbie here who can't actually believe I have more than 100 pounds to lose. I don't know how I let myself gain this much weight, and unfortunately, I still don't feel as committed to losing it as I know I should.
I want to, but I'm not actively working toward it. I think that, in my head, I still think I'm thin, which hasn't been the case for YEARS.
So my question is: How did you all get started on such an overwhelming journey? Didn't it just seem like so much to lose? What kept you going even though losing some weight (20 or even 30 pounds) still meant you had so far to go?
It's taken me 4 years to get 68 lbs off. I lost 20 lbs, without even trying when I had to quit working. I'd also been on the CPAP for several months for sleep apnea, and the doctor prescribing it said I might find that some weight came of just from sleeping better. Though not sitting near a vending machine may have also had something to do with it. A little over a year ago, I changed my bc to skip periods (because hormonal eating was a huge problem for me) and found low carb dieting, but haven't found it easy to stick with. I lost most of my weight in the last year.
The one thing I did decide was that I wasn't going to back track. If I wasn't losing, I wouldn't let it be an excuse for gaining. Also, instead of deciding to work as hard as I could to lose as fast as I could (that never worked in more than 3 decades of dieting, no reason to think it would work now) - I decided that I'd decide what I WAS willing to do, and do that. At first, I wasn't willing to do much. I didn't want to cut meals drastically or try to kill myself exercising, so I just made some modest changes - nothing too intimidating, and when I had success doing that, I got a little more motivation to try a little more.
But really, what keeps me going is not seeing failure where there isn't any. Maintaining weight loss is an impressive acheivement, so even though 68 lbs in 4 years is pitiful by most standards, that's only if you don't take into consideration that I've maintained a 20 lbs for almost 4 years, and a 45 lbs lost for nearly a year, and a 60 lbs loss for three months........
Maintenance is as much success as continued loss. Most people give up when they feel that reaching their goal weight is impossible. I don't know if my goal weight is impossible - it very well may be. That doesn't make the situation hopeless. If I never lose another pound, it doesn't diminish the 68 lbs of success I've had so far - nor the health improvements that have come with that 68 lbs. The apnea disappeared after about 35 lbs, and i have a lot more strength and stamina. My autoimmune disease seems to stay in remission as long as I keep my overall carb count pretty low (I'm beginning to believe the theories linking carbohydrates and/or grains and gluten to autoimmune disease, as I had a mild relapse around the holidays when I ate too many of the treats my mom had made for the holidays).
The goal really doesn't matter. It's like having a dream of being district manager at your company. The promotions in the middle still matter, and quitting (at least not without having another job in place) generally isn't likely to get you closer to your dream job, and you can still have a great life if you "only" make store manager.
What Kaplods said. When I started I had 226 lbs to lose!!!! Thats a huge huge amount. You know what? I'm already down 96 of those! My goal was to just put one foot in front of the other until I got there... and fake it till I made it. It's not always easy... but it's my life and my journey and I WILL get there and I won't stop until I do.
I promised myself I wouldn't make any changes that I could not sustain for life. And I haven't. And for the first time I have not given up either
I will never be DONE the journey and that's okay. This is what I have to do to live a healthier and happier life so I do it
I recognize the original question, and the answers too.
It IS sometimes daunting, when you've lost a significant amount of weight and yet still got a long way to go. I know this from the Last time I lost lots of weight - I've twice in my life lost huge amounts and yet, like you say, somehow here I am..... like cfmama says, recognizing that it's not a quick fix diet but a way of living for life really helps.
And, like they both say, a step at a time; and rejoicing in every success. Lots of people break it up into smaller stages, say 10lbs or 10% at a time - that way you really do have successes to celebrate, not just another grey day of plodding on to a distant target.
For me the start came when I became absolutely disgusted with my self and the way that I was living. My quality of life was poor. My knees were getting worse and worse. I had sooooo many anxieties due to my weight. I slept poorly at night worrying about all the added health risks I was setting myself up for. I was miserable. Life was passing me by and I was watching from the sidelines. I had missed out on so many things. And I had had enough. I was miserable. I was sick and tired of settling for second best when first was well within my reach. I decided enough was enough.
Doing what it takes to lose the weight HAD to at this point be easier then doing without the food. Big realization and a lot to wrap your head around. But I was ready. I had had enough.
So I made the DECISION to do whatever it takes to lose the weight - in a healthy and PERMANENT manner. I know this sounds corny - but it meant the end of diets - and the beginning of a completely new LIFESTYLE. A complete overhaul of how I was eating and exercising. It meant the end of eating what I wanted when I wanted. That didn't provide me with happiness anyway. It was time for boundaries, and limits and eating responsibly, mindfully, sensibly and intelligently. It was time to make my food work for me, instead of against me.
It also meant that the end of my misery was near. Every time I said no to one of "those" foods, I was saying yes to a better, healthier and happier me.
And I became excited. I realized that I did indeed have control of everything and anything that went into my mouth. I COULD control and manipulate what I weigh. I didn't have to be fat if I didn't want to. It was my choice. The whole time. It was my choice to be morbidly obese. And it would be my choice to be fit and trim. And at that point it wouldn't have mattered if I had to lose 100, 150 , 200 or more pounds. I was going to do it - period. Because it was my choice. It was up to me. It was within my power. And I simply didn't want to be fat for another second.
And what kept/keeps me going - is that there was/is no stopping. Just continuing. I was/am in this for life. This is now in fact "my life".
I would not go back to that other life for anything in the world. This has been the most incredible, joyful, life transforming journey I ever could have imagined.
Last edited by rockinrobin; 04-09-2009 at 08:02 AM.
My 'wake-up call' was seeing pictures of myself at my sister's wedding. I just looked so sad and miserable, and I felt like I ruined her wedding photos. It was a terrible feeling. Actually *doing* something about my extra 125 pounds was a lot harder.
I tried a few different things, lost some weight by cutting out sugar and wheat and walking/using the elliptical. I come from an active family, so exercise has always been part of my life, though for a long time I was too self-conscious to do it in front of anyone, even something as simple as walking outside.
Then I moved, and the sugar/wheat thing was too hard to keep up in my new town (no real health food stores). So I coasted for awhile, and I probably gained back whatever I lost. Then I started swimming and counting calories, just sort of randomly one day, and before I knew it I'd lost 20 pounds.
That first twenty was easy, but every pound after that has been a struggle. I've been at it nearly three years and lost 73 pounds, as of this morning. That's slow going by a lot of people's standards, but even when I've gotten stuck/plateaued/taken a 'break' from dieting, I've kept it off, because I never stopped working out in that time.
If you give yourself excuses (like, sorry, 'I feel like I'm still thin, even though I know it's a lie') to avoid the situation, your health will suffer eventually, even if it's not now. For me I just got tired of always being tired, you know? I was in pretty good health for a morbidly obese person, but now that I've lost weight everything's so much easier.
Yesterday I walked by a mirror and for the first time in *years*, I thought to myself, 'Huh. I look normal.' What a thing to think, right? As though I was abnormal when I was heavier! But it was a big deal for me, because I haven't really seen the loss up to now. It's worth it, I promise. Whether you fight for every pound like me and kaplods, or it falls off relatively quickly like some other posters around here, it's worth the fight.
And yes, sometimes I am *still* overwhelmed by how much I have to lose. "70 pounds gone and my stomach still looks like *that*?" "My arms still won't fit in that shirt? What?" Etc. etc. But hey, I've lost 73 pounds. I can lose another 52 no problem!
I always think I have a lot to loose, also I tend to loose it extremely slowly (half a pound per week...) and lots of yo-yoing, so after trying to loose faster, failing, yo-yoing, trying all the diets I could afford or agree a little, I decided to stay on the one I found is better for me and stop fussing.
I don't weight, I just plan what to eat today, not even tomorrow. Sometimes I do kind of a weekly meal plan just in case I'm feeling a little stressed about it and don't want to think about it everyday. And for everything else, I just take one meal at the time, stay on plan, don't buy triggering foods, found alternative ways of coping with negative feelings, and yes I drop weight, very slowly but I do. Maybe one day I'll be my healthy weight, but I need to take it easy.
I have only been at this for 3 weeks now, so I understand how you feel about it being daunting. I had 123 to lose (now 110) and I remember posting on here about how much weight it was, blah, blah, blah. So one poster (can't remember who) said to me and I'm paraphrasing here-the year is gonna go by anyway, so its up to you what you do with it. That hit me like a ton of bricks because I thought about all of the years I stayed fat and watched the years just go by as well as my life. I was bored with doing nothing because I was afraid to go out and be judged. Isn't that the silliest thing you've ever heard. So I decided in my heart, that I wasn't going into another year weighing over 200lbs. I'm not doing it, I refuse to and since I'm stubborn it should be easy...lol...I say all of that to say this-somewhere inside, it will "click" and you will get sick and tired of being sick and tired of being fat and hurting. At that point you will make a commitment to yourself to get healthy and you will.
Height: 5 10 ( I hate being taller than all the cute guys!!!)
Lots of good advise fom some wise chickies here! My advise is very similar. Take one step at a time! Something that helps me stay on top of things is and keep myself motivated is what I learned in Alanon (For family of alcoholics) Take one day at at time. Just concentrate on staying on your plan for just today. Tell youself for just today, I will eat perfectly, drink lots of water and exercise for one hour (or however long you set). Then when you go to bed at night, concentrate on the achievement of meeting your one day goal. You did it! Your still alive and you took a positive step in improving your life. Then, since you made it one day, what the heck, lets try it tomorrow too!
Set small goals for yourself . Don't look at the big picture. Set goals of 5 or 10 pounds. The joy you feel when you reach that goal will motovte you to meet the next goal. When you think about going off plan, remind youself of all the work you have done, all the good days you have had. Is a cupcake worth ruining your winning streak? NO WAY! You are worth so much more than junk food!
So many of us have been and are in your position. Thats what makes this board so wonderful. We're all in this together. And remember what your mom always told you, you have to hold hands when your crossing a busy street!
For me the wake up call was my sons wedding. I was miserable! Everyone told me how beautiful I looked that day.I know how miserable I felt. My ankle was swollen from being on my feet for 2 days. I got out of breath with all the work involved in decorating. I decided I didnt want to ever feel that way when my daughters married and it was totally up to me to do all the decorations and stuff.
I had lost 90lbs a few yrs before drinking a shake type diet.I had lost it in 6months and gained it back in 8 months. I knew I had to do something to take it off for good and keep it off!
On Jan 27th 08 I decided to just take one day at a time and not look at the total I wanted to lose.I just needed to lose it. I chose counting calories and made sure I was within my range daily. I gave up diet drinks and started doing some walking outside and lifting weights. I started stringing days together of doing good. THe weight fell off at first. I hit my stall in the winter but just broke it finally. I will keep stringing good days together.
Just take it one good on plan day at a time!! THey add up fast and the pounds do come off!!
YOU ARE WORTH IT!!
dgramie, my daughter's wedding was one of my big motivators for the start of my lifestyle change.
My 3 daughters were getting closer and closer to marriageable age and I knew there was no way on earth I could get through it being 287 lbs. No way at all. It was hard enough being a guest at a wedding, yet alone the host of one. With all the work that it entails prior to the wedding and then the actual event. Not only was I terrified that I would not physically make it through the wedding, I wasn't even sure I would live long enough to see them get married.
I started a number of years ago, and it's hard to even recall what I was thinking. I knew I was approaching 300 pounds, and I was wearing a size 22 or 24, and I thought if I got any bigger, I'd no longer be able to buy clothes at a mall, and I did not want to go there.
Around 250 pounds, I started exercising. I also learned I could not eat wheat or anything made with flour, and when I wrapped my head around that I lost 20 pounds. There were weeks when I didn't do so well, but I never lost sight of the vision of my future.
I gradually gave up more and more processed foods. But after I got married, it was much more difficult. He would flaunt cookies in my face and say, "Mmm, it's so good, but you can't eat gluten (wheat)." He'd tell me to go ahead and eat a little gluten, and then he'd yell at me for doing so. He'd beg me to go out to eat with him. And I lost sight of the goal.
Well, a whole bunch of fights and drama later, now we're separated, and I'm totally back on track. I've lost an additional 30 pounds since January 1.
These days, my diet is pretty clean -- I hardly eat any processed food, and mostly just fruits, veggies, lean meat, fish and nuts.
One book you may want to check out is the "Complete Beck Diet for Life." It's more about the emotional aspects of losing weight ... there are a LOT of good insights in there.
Last edited by Athenawithheart; 04-08-2009 at 08:34 AM.
Reason: typos
There is a book out called "Such a pretty fat" by Jennifer Lancaster. It really is a great book and totally full of humor. (Example of how funny it is, my favorite part is when the doctor tells her all these ways her weight is going to kill her. Her reply is "How's this for irony, I can finally afford a pedicure, but I'm going to lose my feet to diabetes.") It's her story of having to lose weight even though she thinks she looks fine.
My wake up call came on my 21st bday (2001) when I found out my husband had an affair. I had a dr. appointment the next day. My doctor told me if I joined WW I'd make new friends and lose the weight which would help piece my life together as I healed. It was the greatest advice I have ever gotten. I don't remember weighing in all those months, but I do remember taking more interest in exercise. I'd always been active, but now instead of walking my son the 2 miles to school I'd rollerblade him there then continue to skate another couple miles and do the same routine in the afternoon. I worked nights delivering pizza and just stopped bringing food home from work. I made little changes to my life and my doctor was right. Within 16 months I lost 73 lbs and made some great friends.
I had kept every pound of that weight loss off. Then enters 2007 and I quit smoking. I threw on 20 lbs faster than I could eat a pack of oreos it seemed. I have struggled with every lb. of that 20. I'm down 15 of it and for the last 9 months I've struggled with the same 5 lbs. Those 5 lbs shouldn't mean that much to me, but it really does. Now I'm an emotional eater and because I live in a new city where I don't have any friends or social engagements to keep me focused I tend to throw my own pity parties on Friday nights chock full of al the things I spend the week avoiding. It's a vicious cycle, but I'm starting to replan, rethink, and get away from food as filling a void...again.
I might have gone off a bit on my own reflection, but I think we tend to let life get in the way and really it can be such a wonderful life if we take full advantage of it. Rather than spend each week suffering through dieting, try to do things you enjoy and be creative with your meals so that you can enjoy the journey as much as the end result.
I started a number of years ago, and it's hard to even recall what I was thinking. I knew I was approaching 300 pounds, and I was wearing a size 22 or 24, and I thought if I got any bigger, I'd no longer be able to buy clothes at a mall, and I did not want to go there.
.
I totally forgot about this particular fear of me. I was wearing a size 26/28, even harder to come across then the 24's. So yeah, I too was terrified that I would outsize myself at the stores. TERRIFIED.
How did you start?
